1. “If we have sex and you ever want to see me again then call me the next day. I don’t care if it’s as brief as ‘hey, had a good time with you last night’ as long as you say it.”

—Amelia, 22

2. “Magical thinking is sort of my pet peeve but in a relationship it’s officially the worst. Relationships don’t just happen and solutions don’t magically appear. You’re going to need to do some work in a relationship every once in a while. That should obvious but it isn’t for some.”

—Isla, 25

3. “Don’t be a controlling fuccboi. Just because you like things done a certain way doesn’t mean there’s not other ways to do them. Criticism about simple things like how to wash the dishes just make us think you’re an insane person who beats their dog.”

—Angie, 27

4. “I think some guys are looking for a dream girl and then they meet a woman who checks some of the boxes but not all of them. They then spend the rest of the relationship trying to change their girlfriend into someone who checks those remaining boxes. It’s gross and people don’t change unless they want to. Accept your S/O for who they are or go off and find your ‘dream girl’ if you can and good luck with that!”

—Charlotte, 23

5. “You do not need to text me constantly. My boyfriend (who I love dearly, btw) used to text me all the time when we first started dating because he thought I wanted him to. It was like I was going to get pissed if he didn’t check in or ask me about my feelings every hour. I’m a woman, I don’t need constant affirmation.”

—Elizabeth, 25

6. “Boys night is a thing and I understand the need for it in the same way girls night is a thing that I must have to live. Guys, please don’t get rid of all your friends when you start dating me and then complain that you never get to see your friends anymore.”

—Scarlett, 24

7. “An overapologizing dude is a dude just asking to be dumped or cheated on. Don’t make yourself seem pathetic and afraid that you might have upset a girl you’re interested in. I mean, don’t be a jerk but just be normal. I dated a guy in high school who used to be like ‘what’s wrong’ and when I said nothing was wrong he’d say ‘I’m sorry.’ Ugh, no one wants to be with someone like that. I get it, you’re trying to be considerate but there’s a hard line between considerate and seeking approval.”

—Claire, 22

8. “If I cook then offer to do the dishes. If I wash the clothes one week then you wash them the next week. I can’t tell you how many boys I’ve dated that didn’t have this basic helping stuff and acted like I was punishing them with chores when I asked them to help and then thought I was being a bitch. I’m not a bitch so don’t put me in a situation where you make me a bitch and then get upset about it.”

—Hazel, 29

9. “Be yourself even if it means you don’t get the girl. It’s never happened to me but a couple of my girlfriends have felt like guys they were seeing just put on this perfect guy act to attract them and then revealed that they’d basically been living a false personality. No one can keep that up forever and the truth always comes out. Be yourself.”

—Emma,  25

10. “An argument isn’t the end of the world. You don’t need to break up every time you have a fight. I saw this all the time in college with my friends where they’d have a fight and either they or their boyfriends would suddenly decide they weren’t compatible and break up until the next day when they’d calmed down and then they’d get back together. Jeez, just sleep on it and talk it out the next day.”

—Rebecca, 23

11. “So you’ve been dating me for three weeks…that doesn’t mean we have to go steady yet. You don’t need to ‘lock me down’. I think it usually takes no less than two or three months to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with someone and there’s no need to rush it.”

—Jamie, 22

12. “Don’t bother me when I’m using the bathroom. It’s not so important that it can’t wait until I’m done doing my business. I don’t want to have a conversation through the bathroom door with my butt hanging over a bowl of water with anyone but my sister. Let me have my privacy.”

—Keisha, 25

13. “The most attractive guys I’ve ever been with were people who were complete in and of themselves and didn’t need someone to complete them. Emotionally, I feel like these men are instantly more trustworthy. Be your own person first before you go out and try to find someone to complete you.”

—Jane, 28

14. “Protect your time with your girl, don’t plan a date and then invite a buddy along at the last minute and be like ‘it’s no big deal’. All that does is make me think you don’t care about the date we planned.”

—Matilda, 24

15. “I dated this guy in college whose girlfriend had cheated on him and so he had these deep-seated trust issues that he managed to hide during the first three months we were going out. Eventually though all that stuff spilled over. He couldn’t get it through his head that if I didn’t want to be with him I’d just break it off, that I wasn’t the kind of person who felt the need to sneak and cheat. He never figured it out and the stress of dealing with his old issues just strangled me. Don’t bring your old stuff into your new stuff, guys, or you’re likely to get the exact result you don’t want.”

—Anna, 25