13 Women Respond To The Most Ridiculous Pick-Up Lines A Guy Has Ever Tried On Them
By Daniel Hayes
1. “I was at a house party, and they were playing baby got back and the guy goes ‘is this your theme song?’
I just made a face like I was going to be sick to my stomach and turned around.”
—Cindy, 29
2. “A dude once said to me ‘I’ve slept with 99 women and I’d like the hundredth to be special.’ I was so insulted, as if he thought that might actually entice me. Mind you, this was around 3pm at a café, so he didn’t even have the excuse of being drunk and stupid.
I also had a Wall Street douchebag once say to me, ‘Are you a BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche type of girl?’….’Cause I’ve got all three.’ I wanted to puke in the man’s face. Instead I told everyone we worked with that he’d said that to me. I’m evil. I was delighted the day I heard he’d been fired.”
—Jackie, 30
3. “It wasn’t really a line. Some guy just grabbed my hair pretty aggressively and wouldn’t let go until I told him several times in a calm voice to stop. it was so bizarre that one of the barbacks who saw it happening gave me a free drink ticket.”
—Angella, 24
4. “I don’t think I’ve really experienced someone seriously using a corny pickup line on me but one time a guy wrote me a song and sang it to me over Skype and I was so uncomfortable that I just turned off my computer in the middle of him singing and told him the next day that my power had gone out.”
—Samantha, 22
5. “One time a guy asked me on a date by pretending he had already asked someone else and she said no but he had it planned out already so he ‘figured he might as well ask me’ so that if he got rejected it wasn’t a big deal.
And I rejected him.
Maybe the other girl did exist. Either way, shittiest way to ask someone out on a date ever.”
—Tina, 25
6. “As a Black woman, WHITE BOYS FOREVER SAYING SOMETHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING TO DO WITH CHOCOLATE. Literally some dude told me he’d like to lick my face cause I look like I’d taste like a Hershey’s bar.
-_______-
I walked away. Someone did lick my face and just walked away earlier this Summer. I was so distraught that I didn’t even have time to react.”
—Ashley, 27
7. “I get ‘what’s your ethnicity’ a lot, which I find fine when in a platonic context but when it’s the first thing a complete stranger asks you it definitely comes off as sleazy.”
—Hope, 24
8. “I was 16, shopping in one of those Spencer’s stores in the mall. I was wearing a tank top that said ‘I like it frosty!’ on the back because it had a picture of an vintage slushy ad on the front. A guy who couldn’t have been younger than 40 and apparently worked there came up to me and said, ‘So you like it frosty, huh? How else do you like it’ and wouldn’t stop following me around the store. I didn’t respond at all because I was honestly super freaked out and ended up just leaving with my friends. I was pretty worried that if he didn’t work there he’d follow me out but he didn’t. Lazy pickup line and creeptastic to boot.”
—Kimberly, 23
9. “‘Excuse me miss, you dropped something’ And I looked on the ground to see what I dropped and he just says, ‘My number.’ I responded by walking away.”
—Liza, 23
10. “A guy once offered to pay for my college education because I was ‘so beautiful and deserved a good man with means.’ I was like ‘aw, thanks boo, but i think my parents got it covered and besides, i reeeeally doubt you could afford it.'”
—Annie, 20
11. “I literally had a guy come up to me at a bar who was so drunk that I could barely understand a word he was saying. He sat right down at me and my friends’ table and the only thing I could decipher was ‘I love you’ and he kept repeating it like that dude in Idiocracy. We finally shooed him away and not 10 minutes later we see him outside puking on the sidewalk. Dodged a bullet there.
‘I’m a drunk and I love you is not a good look.'”
—Michelle, 28
12. “I’ve never had like a super rude experience being hit on but I have noticed a trend of guys who use the same ‘have we met before’ line over and over. I get that it’s supposed to be an icebreaker or whatever but the last few times it’s happened I’ve taken to telling them that we have met and then insisting on the where and when of that meeting. Then when they’re taken off guard I get mad at them for not remembering me. It’s entertaining.”
—Tabitha, 31
13. “I sort of feel like pick up lines are a lost art in NYC at least. I’d trade a billion cheesy pick up lines for the ‘you’re so hot’ disgusting harassment talk I hear on the train every other day and have to ignore or pretend I don’t hear depending on my mood.”
—Janice, 24