4 Misconceptions About Military Long Distance Relationships And How To Make Them Last

After many, many scrolls through various websites on “How to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Last,” I have noticed it is the same scenario over and over again. One moves away to pursue a better job with a higher pay grade that will sustain the both you after so many months apart. So, you decide to spend those 6 months apart, taking turns seeing each other once a month, or every weekend to keep your relationship from dying.

Where is the advice for people who don’t have the luxury of seeing their significant other that often because they are serving our country? So here is my take on “How to Make Your Military Long Distance Relationship Work.”

First we can start with some misconceptions and or common lingo for a -typical- military spouse/other half/ whatever you are.

1. Let’s start with the lingo. BHA, PCS, MOS, Jody (probably my favorite insult ever), OPSEC are just to name a few of some of the more common ones, Basic Housing Allowance, Permanent Change of Station (which you should probably tread lightly on the “permanent” term… nothing is permanent in the military), Military Occupation Specialty, A Jody: Term in the military for the guy at home fucking your wife / girlfriend while you’re deployed. Can also mean a broke dick soldier unfit for deployment who stays back and fucks your wife while you’re away. (Refer to Jody Bars), and finally; the law of the land: Operation Security (rules in ensuring the safety of our military personnel and their families.)

2. We are sexually deprived…… Okay so this one isn’t much of a misconception as it is very, very unfortunate. We are quite honestly sick of hearing about you complaining how long it has been since you had sex or kissed your boyfriend… We honestly don’t care…

3. We just do whatever/whoever we want and no one finds out. FALSE. I don’t so much as leave my TV on the off hours I have from work… The only social interaction I have is with my TV screen when I hope that Stella responds to my conversations with her when OITNB is on, by the way… When is season 4 coming on????

4. Last but not least, we are in it for the money… “Tag Chasers”… Okay, while I definitely don’t speak for all of us… I just would like to know… WHAT MONEY? My boyfriend has worked 75 hour weeks before and still makes the same as if he worked 32. His paycheck now can barely support him, never the less both of us. So if you’re interested in the money, honey you need to look into seekingarrangement.com.

But here is my take on how to make a MILITARY relationship last.

1. Always remember, they are away from you AND their friends and everything they have ever known. While it’s not okay for you to make up excuses as to why they are doing some things, if they don’t talk to you for a few days, that’s normal. Keep an open mind. Another thing. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT be afraid of travel. I have not been more places in my 19 years of life as I have in the past 2 years. I know airports like the back of my hand. I have weights of carry-ons memorized. I know how many bottles of conditioner I can safely pack in my carry on without having to unzip my luggage. I know to take out my belly button ring before going through security unless I want Helga, the “friendly” TSA agent strip searching me. Let’s just say, travelling in my sleep could be done.

2. Be willing to finish your schooling before giving up your dreams. Most of us are young. We are just starting out. You chose college, he chose the military. Do not give up your dreams because he chose to pursue his.

3. Be willing to sport military gear. Let me tell you. I have my fair share of Navy stuff. Stickers on my car. Key chains, anchor James Avery charms on my bracelet, t-shirts, cloth bracelets, US Navy Nike Pro Spandex… Name it, I got it. (Except the phone case….. anyone want to donate?).

4. Finally, never give up when things get hard. ALL relationships face issues, it’s just a matter of when. You love him. He loves you. You promised you’d be there, so be there, even if in the end you do decide to part ways, it never hurts to be a friend.

The military life is definitely not for everyone, but if you’re able to sustain it, you go girl (or boy), I promise you won’t be more proud when you see him (or her) in those Dress Blues.