Thought Catalog

Colette deVille

Colette currently resides in Paris with her lover, three cats and one small dog.

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Maybe this is indicative of an underlying borderline personality disorder, but my different worlds keep me in check. I need my separate spheres to feel fulfilled; I think it keeps me socially limber, plastic, adaptable.

They hate your booty shorts with Cornell plastered across your ass and UGG boots just as much as everyone else does. They don’t care if you need above a 3.7 GPA for law school. If you pester them enough, they might even take pleasure in adding that minus to your A.

I have to reprogram my life from ‘we’ to ‘I’. It’s weird to think when I tell my kids about my early 20s, I probably will just ramble on about all the things I did even though it’s really all the things we did. But once that painful extraction begins there is simply no return.

The only things certain in life are death, taxes and Australians at hostels. I don’t understand it but hostelling comes second nature to this lot. Maybe because they are used to being so spread out in Australia that they crave the close human contact fostered in hostels.

As much as I do like showing you around my city you must keep in mind that even though you might be on vacation, I am not. Don’t be too bummed when I leave you alone to go to work or class or even an engagement that I can’t bring you to.

I think people often adopt their drink of choice based around the kind of message they believe the drink to convey. Men who order martinis shaken not stirred, I get it, you’re suave. Girls who order cosmos are so Sex and the City and stuck in 2005.

Andy Cohen is your God, genius, and savior. What will that cute little Jewish leprechaun come up with next?!? What’s better than watching a bunch of crazy people on the same drugs that you’re on, driving around in nice cars and fighting with each other?

Do get a French boyfriend. He will screw with your head, he may or may not drive a scooter, he will have a cute smile and he will most definitely cheat on you. If you date a French man you will guarantee yourself a healthy dose of drama and romance… isn’t that what being abroad is all about?!