Thought Catalog
June 9, 2017

10 Truths You’ll Realize After Moving Forward From Heartbreak

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William Hope

It hurts to be left behind. It hurts to be forgotten. It hurts to be alone when you perfectly know whose company can complete you. But it will hurt even more if you will continue to be devastated by a loss while the latter is happy. You owe it to yourself to be okay. Once you find the courage to pick up the pieces. That is where the magic starts.

A few months later you will be smiling at all the times you got crazy, lonely, and sad because from a far who you were reflects who you have become after you’ve completely healed yourself.

Here are 10 truths you will realize days, weeks, months, and years after moving forward from someone and everything that broke you.

1. It struck you bad.

You are human. Yes! It struck you really bad. You remember the first few hours, days, and weeks when you can barely stand up and put up a façade for everyone to stop worrying about you. All you will realize is it struck you because it was REAL. So you don’t have to think about the past as something you have to forget. You had great times and keep holding on to that because feeling love beats not having felt any at all. A person who is capable of loving will hurt but it doesn’t mean they will never get back on track.

2. You messed up.

You messed up. Maybe it was your fault why you broke up or maybe not. But I’m pretty sure you messed up at some point and when you realize that do take note of the reason why you think you contributed to the situation. Months later it will help you in dealing with new people who want to come into your life as well as people who you think has potential to take that special place in your heart. Don’t play the blame game, instead analyze the reasons and allow yourself to grow from it.

3. It was MEANT to happen.

It all happens for a reason. Every person comes to your life with a purpose. Maybe it’s not the purpose to stay but just leave a mark that will change you. A change that will make you even better than who you were before. Don’t fret over the past and trust the process even if you don’t understand it like your FAITH.

4. Your progress is your own motivation, pace, and time.

You hold your time and pace in all things. Don’t shock yourself by being a hypocrite. The truth you’ll find out later is it really takes time to be okay again. Like how your body regenerates after illness, treat your heart and soul with the same patience. Don’t be affected by what other people say about your pace. It is your life that got shattered not theirs.

5. Being single is a time that must be spent well.

Being alone for a time is a blessing. The truth is you need time for yourself. “Me” time is nothing but hours, days, weeks, months, and years of rebuilding yourself. Allowing yourself to relish the time of being single will make you realize why some people make it a CHOICE. While you are at the period of not wanting to commit. Commit to yourself, your goals, and your life. A strong person who doesn’t need anyone is an attractive asset for an equally strong companion. Spend it wisely and productively by doing the things you love and are passionate about.

6. You must not be AFRAID to LOVE AGAIN

Loving again should not be feared. Love entails hurt and hurt is part of the rigorous process of finding the one person who you want to be with for the rest of your life and along the way there will be twists, turns, bumps, and bruises while you tread the way. A person who has had enough experience with this will know that relationships are never perfect. What makes it seemingly perfect is the way you handle things whether good or bad and how you allow it to affect your relationship. The flaws of the past will not happen unless you allow it to.

7. You will still be LOVED despite your brokenness.

Being broken is just a temporary state and months later you find yourself being NEW again. When a person realizes that they are fully restored, a well deserving person who is capable of breaking your walls will come and despite your brokenness before, it will not even matter as slowly you will find that broken heart beating again like a brand new one.

8. What broke you CHANGED YOU.

Despite denials that what happened helped you. It will show in the person you become. If you become better then you did it right. If you became more messed up, maybe you haven’t gotten through the whole process yet. CHANGE is always good. There is nothing more constant than that of CHANGE. Evolving into a new and better version of yourself may be the actual reason for what you experienced.

9. You can breathe and live again.

Months earlier you were gasping for air, you were crying your pain away. Today, you are fine, breathing, living, and in fact you are smiling again. Pain like all emotions pass. Once you get past that emotion you will just laugh at the distant pass. There is no other way but forward. Never backward. Live, Love, and Laugh. Just follow that new rhythm of your beating heart.

10. Loving YOURSELF before OTHERS is key.

You are now perfectly healed but do remember that loving yourself is above all else. Placing your faith in GOD as the center of your being, loving yourself and challenging yourself to be a good person is nothing less of being a STRONG PERSON. There is no attractive up-do than a woman who loves, respects, and treats herself the way she deserves to be. Men who are afraid of strong women, may not really know it but they are just afraid of never being able to measure up to the love she gives to herself and you don’t deserve that. Love someone who loves you more than you love yourself and that person will equally deserve the love that you can give.

There are so many more truths you will find out later on, but the best truth you will realize is when you become okay again, your picture of that one person will be clear and in the perfect moment that person will come into your life. What’s best is when that time comes you are healed, improved, and ready to love again.TC mark