Post-Break Up Blog Post Titles
By Ciara Flynn
“How to Win Friends And Influence People By Talking Ad Nauseum About How Lonely You Are”
“I Have This Great Idea To Write A Book About How I Travel the World for A Year And Search for Inner Peace Through Food, Meditation, and Love, And Thereby Learn That Being Single Is Okay But! In The End I Marry A Wealthy Braz–Goddamn It”
“Now I Would Like To Sell You Some Tupperware”
“Using Exclamation Points To Make Incredibly Bitter Statements Seem Wry And Jaunty!”
“How To Disguise Tears Of Self-Pity As Tears of Happiness When Friends Announce Their Engagement Or Pregnancy”
“10 Ways To Spend The Money You Used To Spend On Waxing And Cute Underwear”
“How To Ignore Your Feelings Through Prodigious Alcohol Consumption”
“From Now On, This Blog Will Be About Crafting”
“5 Reasons Why I Decided To Stop Shaving My Legs”
“Every Secret My Ex-Boyfriend Ever Told Me: An Illustrated Guide”
“On Open Letter To The Cleaning People: Just Because That Balled-Up Men’s T-Shirt Was Under My Pillow Does Not Mean It Belongs In The Laundry IT WAS SACRED”
“Meet My Cats — They Have Middle Names And Everything”
“Signs You’re A Spinster: 7 Things To Watch Out For”
“Your Uterus And You: The Many Ways You Have Let Each Other Down”
“Why Having Grammar Pet Peeves Implies A Healthy Superiority”
“On Reality TV Marathons And Sweatpants”
“Polyamory: On Being In Love With Both Ben and Jerry”
“The Differences Between Vibrators And Personal Massagers”
“The Pros And Cons Of International Adoption For Single People With Spotty Credit And A Low Threshold For Bureaucracy”
“How To Stalk People You Used to Love Using Social Media”
“Love Yourself First, Think About Showering Later”
“15 Things To Do While All Your Friends Are Cuddling Before A Roaring Fire With Their Significant Others”
“Diversifying Your Fulfillment Portfolio: Emotional Support From Gay Friends And Therapists, Financial Support From Yourself, And Meaningless Sexual Partners From The Internet”
“The Power Of Positive Thinking (Is A Myth)”