Thought Catalog
October 28, 2016

Keep Focusing On Your Career, The Relationship Will Follow

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Thought.Is
Thought.Is

Stay the course.

It’s sexy to see a girl chase her dreams.

I get it – I know you’re approaching thirty (or forty) and worried about getting married, having a family and the whole shebang. And if I’m being totally honest, you have a legitimate reason to be concerned. After all, from a medical standpoint, it’s in your best interest to have a child by thirty-five and yada yada yada.

And to make matters worse, Kim just got engaged, Michelle is having her first child and Toni is posting all kinds of pics on Instagram with her new Bae. Toni of all people, found someone, can you believe that?

It’s not that you’re not happy for your friends, but it’s natural to feel a little down about the whole thing. Where did it all go wrong? ARE YOU WORKING TOO HARD? Do you come across as intimidating?

Well, let’s be absolutely clear about one thing: focusing on your career is not going to negatively affect your chances of finding a suitable companion. If anything, it will boost your chances of meeting someone. Contrary to popular belief, your professional success is a huge turn on. Men are drawn to girls who are making moves in their career. Boys may feel threatened, but look at it this way, you can’t please everyone.

I’ve been in many conversations where men talk about professional women with the utmost respect. They admire your drive, your dedication and your ambition. You’re the type of person they want to settle down with, that’s for sure. Not some chick gallivanting at every party.

When they introduce you to their parents or friends – they want to proudly say that you’ve just completed your CFA, or that you’re an associate at a law firm or that you just opened up a new hair salon or whatever. Remember, men have big egos, and your success complements their self-esteem very well.

BTW, do you have any idea how a man feels when he sees a pretty girl, dressed in a suit and looking confident? Even if she’s laden with four bags (a laptop bag, a handbag, a random bag and a lunch bag) … he’ll think she is the hottest thing in the solar system. Which begs the question, why do women need to have so many bags?

Anyway, the point is, focusing on your career is a good thing. The problem is when you’re obsessed with your career at the expense of your social life. When you’re all work and no play, that’s the problem right there.

Although having a successful career is a plus, you need a balanced life. When you’re solely focused on your job, and you give the impression that you don’t have time for anything else, or that you’re not interested in anything else – that’s a turn off.

Men can tell when your life revolves entirely around work; it’s like a sixth sense. And they are not going to readily commit to someone who is only invested in their career.

If you’re serious about meeting someone special, you need to have a balanced life. For starters, it will give you an opportunity to meet new people. But more importantly, your whole demeanour will change. Living a balanced life usually translates into a more relaxed, engaging and fun personality. Whereas serial workaholics tend to be a little more uptight, if you know what I mean.

Ultimately, there’s a big difference between:

1. Focusing on your career and 2. Your career being your ONLY focus.

Men are attracted to the former; intimidated by the latter.

So, to the girl who is focused on her career – keep working hard on achieving your goals, you will attract the right guys. But remember to also go out with your girls, get involved with charity work, join a running club. You know – get involved with stuff that you like. Try new things. Live a little.

To the girl who is focused on her career – I know you wanted to settle down by a certain age but don’t stress about it. You’ll meet your guy.

Stay the course.

It’s sexy to see a girl chase her dreams. TC mark