Thought Catalog
June 16, 2014

8 Text Messaging Red Flags To Watch Out For When Dating

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New Girl: Season 1
New Girl: Season 1

1. “K well you seem busy so I’ll let you go.” (If you’ve had less than 10 minutes to respond)

In a label happy generation, the last thing you want to do is give someone a solid reason to call you clingy. Nobody wants to feel pressed to respond hastily to each and every text message, especially when in the early stages of romance. You can’t be upset if they aren’t able to tap away at their phone 24-7 to deliver an immediate response. Anyone who has received that “you didn’t reply promptly so now I’m mad” text after 5 minutes knows how irritating it can be — not to mention how alarming it is that you might be dealing with an overly jealous, unreasonable person.

2. *Person tweets, but hasn’t responded to your text yet.*

If Twitter takes precedence over responding to you, that’s probably an indicator that you’re not exactly a priority. I mean, look what they’re choosing over you – a bunch of drama and bad news and trending diarrhea in the form of brief, 140 character declarations. This goes for any social media, really. If they can like pictures on Instagram or write Facebook statuses, but don’t care to respond, not only are you an afterthought, but they may even be trying to send a subtle message that basically says: I’m alive and well as you can see by my recent activity, which I hope helps you realize that my phone is in my hand, so I DID get your text, but  have no interest in replying.

3. ”R u up?” (after 12am)

If you’re down with being a booty call then this isn’t a red flag so much as it is a green light. The reason receiving a lazily written “r u up?” after midnight would feel icky is because it’s those last resort, final option hours — and most folks want to be at least somewhat significant. So if it’s a relationship you’re seeking or something that isn’t strictly physical, you should be wary of wee hours of the night text.

4. *Every time you call, they don’t answer, but they quickly send a “Hey what’s up?” text.*

Are you texting a gazebo? Because that sure is shady. Now, if a person is at work or in a scenario where it’d be rude to answer a phone, that’s obviously different. This is referring to the person who does it habitually – on like, Saturday nights or at times when they previously told you they weren’t busy. It’s also worth considering that some people just HATE phone calls, so you’ve got to gauge this one carefully and consider other specifics regarding a specific person.

5. Hey sorry, I just saw your text. (12+ hours later)

In 2014, no phone goes unchecked for longer than like 8 hour, tops. Most people have their phone within arm’s reach at any given time. When you assume something’s up because a person hasn’t responded for several hours, you’re not jumping to conclusions so much as looking both ways and safely crossing the street to conclusions.

6. Only partially responding to your previous text message, leaving a portion of it unanswered.

This is infuriating when anyone does it, but how can you go on being romantically involved with a person who picks and chooses what they’ll acknowledge within text conversations? It raises suspicion immediately, even if you’re not a particularly skeptical person. Why would someone blatantly choose not to answer a question or address an inquiry? It just feels like there has to be some negative reason. Again, this isn’t something you want to automatically assume the worst on, but when it happens enough, it shouldn’t be chalked up to innocent oversight.

7. “Lol” or “Haha” or “Aww” or “Thanks” or “K…” Especially “K.”

One word reply texts feel like when someone’s giving their award acceptance speech and then suddenly that wrap-it-up music begins playing. If a romantic interest sends these short messages when you interact during the day, but the classic “R u up?” at night, then you know what’s up. Unless you’re waiting for a particular shade of red on that flag, those two tendencies should be more than obvious indicators that you’re involved in something not considered serious.

8. They aren’t texting you back.

If you’ve sent like 3+ text messages in a row with no response, even if they’re spaced out days or weeks, you should probably, definitely, for sure stop texting sooner than immediately. This is a red flag, however in this scenario, it’s being waved at you. You’re at a texting table for one, and it’s time to get your check and exit — take a complementary hint on the way out. TC mark

Read our latest novel — a story of love lost and love found, told entirely in emails, chats, and text messages.

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