11 Things Only Platonic Best Friends Understand

New Girl: The Complete First Season
New Girl: The Complete First Season

1. The general public doesn’t believe the type of friendship you have truly exists. They refuse to. You’re like a mythical Pokémon or a bag of decently priced pistachios – something rarely seen – if ever. Folks can’t fathom pure friendship with no extracurricular, ulterior motives, so you’ll hear theories about the secret romantic feelings one of you surely has for the other.

2. Real life isn’t a romantic comedy. There won’t suddenly be a 30-second montage of you two trying various outfits on for each other, giggling, getting stuck in the rain, sharing long-drawn-out eye contact, and kissing in aforementioned downpour with a Cyndi Lauper song playing in the background as you realize that you’re love. None of that happens in thoroughly platonic friendships.

3. Sarcasm and insults aren’t flirtation, but terms of endearment because that’s just how many of us treat our closest friends. The best ways to avoid actually saying nice things to the people you care about unromantically are cynicism & banter.

4. If your friendship began during childhood, before hitting puberty and being girl or boy crazy, it’s even more feasible that there’s zero physical attraction. Something about knowing someone since they were in diapers adds a pure, neighborly feel to the connection.

5. This friendship is likely a great source of advice, specifically in the dating department. No subjects are off limits and sugarcoating isn’t necessary, so you can get pure honesty, which is a hot commodity these days.

6. Worrying that you’re ruining each other’s chances of meeting someone when hanging out together because onlookers will assume you’re a couple and refrain from approaching.

7. Sometimes, when in the situation described above, you’ll emphasize the platonic-ness by using terms like “dude” or introduce by saying “This is my friend so-and-so” making it clear to whoever you’re interested in that you’re 1000% available.

8. When one of you gets involved in a romantic relationship, it’s necessary that your new significant other understands and is okay with your best friendship. Nobody wants to be the close friend that falls of the face of the earth when they get a girlfriend/boyfriend, especially if the distance is forced because of their being a girl or guy.

9. You’re so frequently being told how great the two of you would be as a couple that you’ve developed a brief rebuttal speech to explain how and why you’re “great friends” and there is no romance, nor will there ever be. It’s like the ‘strictly buddies’ mission statement.

10. Going out and having a close friend as your wingman/woman can be a huge advantage, as they know how to talk you up and curve the interaction in a way that’s beneficial to your game, or lack thereof.

11. You’ve discussed making a pact to marry each other in the event that the two of you somehow wind up 60 and alone. It’s not that you want this to happen or have an underlying attraction, it’s just an agreement that you get along well enough to prevent each other from dying alone. TC Mark

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