How Clinginess Can Ruin Potential Loving Relationships

The other night as I was exiting Walgreens you caught my eye. Your beauty was undeniable and the gorgeous, glowing aura surrounding you was literally lighting up the darkness. A beautiful, radiant white light that drew me in like a stupid/suicidal moth to a flame. I look, you’re staring back at me and there’s no doubt that we are what each other want in this moment, although thirty seconds prior I had no idea we’d be meeting.

I try to keep walking but only manage two or three steps before I turn around and you’re still there. Your lingering gaze is an obvious sign that I should approach, so I do. Immediately we click and you take the initiative to get my phone number and email address, but you also invite me to hangout & watch some movies. Tonight. The spontaneity and randomness of it all is intriguing. Ten minutes earlier I was planning on taking my plastic bag of clearance taquitos and canned tea home for a rendezvous, but you changed my entire night.

At my place both movies are watched. Gatsby and World War Z. Leo was fantastic, Brad was solid, but it’s just so hard to create an alternate version of what was a brilliant book. Anyway, you insinuated that I should go back to your place tomorrow, but I thought, why not tonight? Despite it being 2am, I’ve got plenty of energy. So we went back to your place to seal the deal. It just felt right.

I’ve seen others do this, but never actually done it myself, so I take a moment to think before proceeding. I try not to make that obvious. Luckily I press the correct button and slide it right in. It’s over rather quickly. I feel great about the way this night has played out and from what I can tell, you do too. We part ways but you have my information. You say you’ll be contacting me and I hope you do. I leave.

Then, the next morning I wake to something frightening. SIX emails, two of which were sent while you were still with me.

I mean, you were physically still with me, yet you felt the need to send one message saying you hoped I was enjoying myself and another asking me to clarify that I’d given you the correct email address? Like, relax, that’s way too much. Then you sent three more blah blah messages, followed by a desperate he-isn’t-responding-so-I’ll-send-another-nice-to-meet-you-text.

We had a good time, Redbox. You exposed many of the flaws in my exes (Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, the movie theaters) and I really think there’s potential here, but only if you stop smothering me. You gave me a free promo code, so I’d be lying if I said I won’t be back soon, but I’m really concerned about what’ll happen after the second date. Ten emails? Twenty? Clinginess isn’t cute, even when you have a lot to offer.

TL;DR: Redbox sent me 6 emails in 8 hours because it wants to date me hard and I was like, dang, chill boo.