As many of you know, corny jokes that have terrible puns and/or cringe-worthy punchlines some of my favorite things. For example, my Twitter is basically a résumé of the pathetic attempts at humor that people who interact with me daily have to deal with. Here are a couple examples of my bold swings at being funny:
I totally understand how batteries feel because I’m rarely ever included in things either.
— Christopher Hudspeth (@CEHudspeth) August 20, 2013
Looking back, Kel’s orange soda fetish is kind of weird. Wonder what his FANTAsies were?
— Christopher Hudspeth (@CEHudspeth) August 28, 2013
Those nuggets of gold didn’t come out of nowhere, y’all. I love a good joke, especially one that can actually be shared with people when it’s laughs that they seek. The last thing you want is some to say “Tell me a joke,” or to be in a room full of funny without any prepared material to contribute. So, for the crucial moments when you want to create a little hehe-haha, here are 50 jokes from around the web (not my jokes) that’ll get the job done for you.
1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
2. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
3. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
4. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
5. What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.