1. Jock Jams – Are You Ready For This
Wait, is it a miserable, crusty-eyed, early morning wake up call or the 4th quarter of an exciting basketball game? Let the greatness of the Space Jam soundtrack live on in your a.m. regiment, taking the wheel of your weak, exhausted body. Think about it, your freshly risen, thoroughly exhausted self will be jolted to life, much like the Monstars stealing the powers of those NBA superstars.
2. The Lion King – The Circle Of Life
That initial AHHHH ZABENYAAA is the auditory equivalent of a double shot of espresso. You’ll wake up rejuvenated, but beware of the overwhelming nostalgia that might make you want to lie in the fetal position and go back to responsibility free, childhood days. If you can get past that, it’s a calm treat and it’s fantastic to brush your teeth to the beat of the “pink pajamas, penguins on the bottom” part.
3. The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name
Here’s the thing – it’s got a great, upbeat vibe that’ll certainly wake you up, but it’s also catchy. Extremely catchy. To the point where the phrase “THAT’S NOT MY NAME!” will rent out space in your brain and remain stuck in your head for a good portion of the day.
4. Disturbed – Glass Shattered (Stone Cold Steve Austin Theme)
90s and early 2000s pro wrestling fans remember what that shattering glass signifies, and this version performed by Disturbed is gold. It’s the perfect morning tune to put yourself in a I’m-going-to-kick-today’s-ass type mood. You, yes, YOU are going to stomp a mud hole in the morning, kick the afternoon in the gut and Stone Cold Stunner the evening… Or you’re going to think someone’s breaking into your house and spend the morning cleaning your underwear.
5. Hans Zimmer – The Dark Knight Theme
Good morning – you are in an epic scene of an action movie. Now I’ll just get out of your way while you walk around with the posture of a man who’s donning a cape and utility belt.
6. Nat King Cole & George Shearing – Pick Yourself Up
This will probably fill many heads with graphic images of mass prison inmate murder, but for those of you who haven’t broken bad, well you need to wake up in more ways than one. This is a slow, old school jingle that is literally encouraging you to pick your dusty body up, brush it off and start the day.
7. OutKast – Hey Ya!
It’s OutKast, so there shouldn’t really be any questioning at all, but if you seek a specific answer press play. This song just makes you want to not sit still, which is clearly beneficial in the early hours of the day. This is the type of music that’ll have you dancing in the kitchen while simultaneously scrambling eggs.
8. Isley Brothers – SHOUT
This may feel slightly annoying, like being jolted awake by a noisy roommate and feeling slightly angry. You’ll probably shout, but it’ll be explicit words directed at the playing of this early 1960s party jingle. Still, it gives off get-up-and-go vibes that won’t allow you to remain a lethargic, pillow-coddling bum.
9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 400
Just so you guys know, I went through a lot to provide you with this recommendation. I knew I wanted to suggest it, however I was unaware of the artist or title, and it was no simple task tracking it down. Luckily, a Google search for “the song that goes oh oh oh” came through in the clutch for me, and now I’ll leave it here for your consideration.
10. Kanye West – Good Morning
It’s fairly calm and mellow sounding – everything Kanye appears not to be when a paparazzo tries to small talk with him.