February 20, 2013

The 6 Worst Places To Go As A Kid

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The 6 Worst Places To Go As A Kid

1. The Dentist

Everybody has an innate, cautiousness about their mouth, teeth and not wanting sharp, LOUD or pointy objects around them, so visiting the dentist felt like our parents were taking us to one of the Saw, torture chair scenarios. Throw in the cheeks full of cotton balls, the lies (“This won’t hurt a bit”), the drool, and the inaudible gibberish words that were attempts at answering friendly questions from the dentist, and you’ve got one of the most dreaded experiences in life.

2. To Wherever A Whooping Was About To Take Place

These were like sanctioned, scheduled bouts in which our parents often gave us a few moments in advance to anticipate the ensuing spanking. Maybe you were acting up while at the store and had to wait until you got home, or perhaps they sent you to your room while they searched the house for a belt to whack you with – whatever the case, the fear and discomfort that came with waiting for an inevitable whooping was capable of making any location a dreaded one.

3. The Home Depot

No kid has ever declared the words, “Oooh, look – they’ve got prefinished plywood!” There was nothing pleasant about browsing endless aisles of tile, appliances, faucets, hardware and all types of other junk that we had zero interest in. There was nothing to look forward to. NOTHING. Oh, is that a silver lining over there? Nope, just 50 feet of chain link fence. Parents, who were probably there to make fairly significant home improvement purchases, took what felt like an eternity to decide on whatever it was they were seeking. 45 minutes in Home Depot time = at least 16 hours in real-time.

4. To Grandparent’s House

It had its benefits – an endless supply of hard candy, the possibility of being spoiled with gifts and sweets, etc. – but it also had its downside. The grownups did a lot of talking and we were scolded for interrupting, it smelled indescribably strange and their TV was either occupied by boring stuff (news, bleh) or they had the basic channels, which meant no Nickelodeon. In retrospect we can appreciate the days spent with grandparents, but at the time it was just a place that didn’t have our favorite belongings, e.g. videogames and toy collection.

5. To A New School

At least for the first day or ten, this was one of the most stomach-churning experiences a child could have. As someone who attended six different schools for grades 1-8, I learned firsthand how uncomfortable it can be. There are classroom routines, jokes and groups of friends that are all established, and now you’ve got to jump aboard a moving train, and do so as smoothy as possible. It’s a tough transition, but luckily I was always fortunate enough to run into the nice, well-liked kids and find a comfortable, elementary social life. Still, consider how uncomfortable/terrified you’d feel going to a party where you know NOBODY this weekend. That’s what starting at a new school was like, except you knew in advance that you had to stay at the party for a significant amount of time.

6. To Bed

It’s 9 PM, what’s the big deal?! It was so regulated and we hated it. Hated naps, hated scheduled bedtimes, hated sleep in general. Obviously that’s changed nowadays, as naps are an endangered activity in most of our lives, coming few and far between. TC Mark

image – Shutterstock
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