How To Relive The Typical 90s Kid’s Friday Night In 15 Simple Steps
By Thoughtis
1. Buy 7-Year-Old You’s Favorite Sugary Cereal.
There are no parents to regulate consumption, so chow down on an entire box if you so please. As much as commercials tried to label cereal as “part of a complete breakfast,” most of us nowadays eat it as a full meal whether it be brunch, lunch, dinner or midnight snack time. Multiple bowls, homies.
2. YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVp1qJmY0Aw]Before Friday nights were the place where television shows went to die slowly in front of very low ratings (Chuck, Prison Break, Ugly Betty, etc.), ABC’s TGIF was a block of elite programming that featured legendary lineups over the years. Perhaps they set the bar too high because it all went downhill from there. I know many 90s kids are using their Friday nights to unwind and be social, but I remain unconvinced that two hours of quality television wouldn’t keep a few folks in for the night. Above is Carl Winslow delivering a 7 second intro to the thing we all looked forward too on glorious 90s Fridays.
3. Soak Up The Best Full House Moments From All 8 Seasons.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qp4WJiUeTc]Now it’s time for the shows that were featured on TGIF. We’ll start with Full House, but instead of trying to pick and choose from 190+ episodes of the Tanner family’s festivities, enjoy 10 minutes of their finest work. Watching this you’ll realize that the kids are kind of the funniest characters on the show, and child actors and their cuteness/funniness has really vanished in modern television for the most part.
4. Watch The Only Moment Of Family Matters You Ever Need To See
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VVi45OU0Tk]While YouTube offers an array of Family Matters goodies, the best one that is most likely to change your life is sitting directly above this text. Had social networks existed and viral video been as achievable in the 1990s as they are today, this “Urkel Dance” certainly would’ve found its way onto Facebook pages, drawing millions of views. All we can do now is relive the greatness and cross our fingers for this flame to be rekindled and shine bright like Gangham Style. (If for some reason that video is ever removed, just search for “Do The Urkel”)
5. Now Enjoy This Epic Full House/Family Matters crossover.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UHxuFtKcKs]As far as 90s classic characters go, it doesn’t get much better than watching Steve Urkel, the ultimate nerd, interact with Uncle Jesse, the coolest muthafunka on the planet. John Stamos and Jaleel White pull this scene off so well, showing the worlds of smooth and geeky collide.
6. If You’re Following This Step By Step, The Next Step Is Step By Step.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBNeHya0yPA]This is the pilot episode, which will fly you all the way down memory lane in a twenty-minute trip, with heavy nostalgia induced turbulence. This was the 90s version of The Brady Bunch and it doesn’t always get the love and attention that Family Matters and Full House draw, but it’s absolutely worthy of mention as one of the greats. Funny cast, catchy intro, quality family oriented programming – this was 90s GOLD. Also, can someone please tell Christine Lakin (Al) that I adore(d) her? When everyone was drinking the Topanga Kool-Aid I was like, I get it, but what about Al?!?
7. Commercial Break!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN9iTdrh3NM]If we’re going to make this feel authentic, there’ve got to be commercials. Enjoy a hefty supply of 16 minutes worth of retro ads. (LOIS & CLARK ALERT AT 5:27. I kind of hated this show because it was more about their relationship than him flying and being super.)
8. Play Old School Video Games
Not owning a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo is not an excuse! See, you can go to CoolRom.com and download an emulator/roms, then indulge in some classic video game excitement. Sonic, Tails, Mario, Luigi, Zelda, Donkey Kong – they’re all there, even the crappy games you found for $5 in a bin at Toys ‘R Us.
9. Dinosaurs Marathon!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPZJ3Zc01wk]The series finale of this show is one of the most depressing things you’ll ever witness. Steer clear of that last episode or view it at your own discretion — heads up, it’ll really do some damage. Instead, consider taking advantage of these two-hour marathons that some kind YouTuber blessed us with. Start from the beginning with episodes 1-5 shown above!
10. GET DISTRACTED BY THE MERRIMENTS ON THE BACK OF YOUR CEREAL BOX
Gon’ head — you know you want to make the leprechaun puppet.
11. Snack On 90s Treats
If you currently have access to Dunkroos then eating all of them should be a no-brainer. If not, other snack suggestions include, but are NOT limited to: Gushers, Fruit By The Foot, Fruit Rollup, Lunchables, Bagel Bites, etc.
12. ALL of the Boy Meets World Intros
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hZRWhlW_do]There are over 150 episodes of Boy Meets World, many of which are at your disposal online, and in syndication on television. Instead of recommending an episode, I suggest watching all of the different intros compacted in this two minute clip, and choosing which season tickles your fancy right now, then watch episodes from that time period. Do you want young, naïve Cory & Topanga or the grown ‘n sophisticated version?
13. Do Some Coloring
Grab your crayons, markers, watercolors or what have you and get creative. Now you can be that cool kid who has the crayon box with the sharpener installed in the back! I’ve provided you with an image of our beloved Rugrats, and if you’re in need of more, don’t be shy with Google Images because there’s plenty more where that came from.
14. Build A Pillow/Blanket Fort
This process is a lot easier, and more enjoyable if done with friends. At least that’s the way it used to be, so I’d imagine forts are the same kind of fun nowadays. Obviously the soft, cushiony facilities you’re constructing will need to expand for your now larger bodies, but surely there’s still something oddly fascinating and enjoyable about being in a handcrafted, super comfortable, dark area. Plus there are no parents around compact your fort building dreams, so the ceiling’s the limit. Don’t be afraid to create the Sistine Chapel of forts and call it a night under there.
15. VHS Time!
EVERY 90s kid has a stack of movies on VHS, many of which are typically Disney flicks. If said stash is currently in your possession and not collecting dust in your parent’s basement, take advantage of this! Chances are, if you owned it, you watched it countless times, so even all these years later, you’ll likely remember a line or two… hundred. I take pride in the fact that I can still recite 73% of It Takes Two.