6 Foods That Taste Even Better When You’re Drunk
1. Anything From Taco Bell
Taco Bell is like that awful person who you probably wouldn’t hookup with sober, but because you’re intoxicated, you say screw it, this is what I want right now. You’ll probably regret your decisions tomorrow, but in that moment you don’t care what creature their mystery meat derives from, or how many additional calories you’re consuming. Taco Bell is an attractive option under the influence.
If you think about it, when would you not want a slice of pizza? Like, regardless of your blood alcohol level or current state, some pizza probably sounds good right about now. All the booze does is enhance this delicious food, making it that much better.
Many drunk people are snackers, and there’s nothing they’d rather munch on than some type of crunchy chip. Seriously, look back at any house party you’ve ever attended and surely there were people chomping down chips by the handful. Entire bags are annihilated like a fleshy human being caught by zombies. Feeding frenzy.
Preferably from some rinky-dink Mexican stand, because those usually provide the best tasting stuff. As far as sobering up goes, burritos rank as a top option. All the ingredients it’s filled with soak up the alcohol, making the next morning just a little bit easier. Burritos are hands down the tastiest hangover preventative ever.
IHOP, Denny’s and Waffle House aren’t only frequented by post-partiers because they’re one of the few options at club and bar closing time; it’s also got something to do with them offering the most well balanced meal options you can find that time of night/morning. Not only do the menus offer a wide selection, but you can sit down, drink unlimited amounts of water and discuss the night’s events. Also, they have bacon.
FRENCH FRIES!!! CHICKEN NUGGETS!!! DIPPING SAUCES!!!… Also, after wasting all that money on overpriced alcohol, the dollar menu becomes a whole lot more enticing.
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I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.