If You’re Not Single, You Shouldn’t Act Single
Such an obvious statement shouldn’t even have to be said… Right? Wrong. Way, way wrong. One of the many current, f-cked up dating trends – or should we call them epidemics — is having an exclusively involved agreement with someone (also known as a “relationship”) but refusing to conform to all of the stuff that comes with it. You know, like loyalty, respect and decency. In a technologically savvy generation, we regularly see shitty boyfriends and girlfriends do disrespectful things with phones and computers including but not limited to any number of the following:
- Adding friends on Facebook who you don’t know, but find aesthetically pleasing.
- Flirtatious comment exchanges.
- “Finding someone attractive and “liking” all of their photos. Hell, even liking one picture isn’t cool; especially if you know your intent is to make that person aware that you find ‘em hot.
- Inappropriate emoticon use. Wink faces are the text equivalent of an LL Cool J lip lick.
- Writing private messages trying to hook-up with someone. (I love it when the person they wrote takes a screen cap or calls ‘em out so the world can see their scandalous ways.)
If you complain about any of the above, you might be called over protective, jealous, paranoid or labeled “crazy,” but screw that, you’re completely sane. In fact, you’re a more logical thinker than the folks who willingly accept being involved with someone who treats their exclusive relationship as if it’s open. People are so quick to call being “aware,” being paranoid — as if you shouldn’t ask when something looks suspicious. You have instincts, gut feelings and a brain — don’t shy away from calling upon ‘em when your Spidey-Sense is tingling.
Surely this isn’t a new concept – playing the role of a bachelor/bachelorette when in reality you’re taken. It’s just so unique in this day and age, with loads of technology and so many ways to mingle, it’s growing into a social norm– which is terrifying to those who actually like the idea of exclusive, faithful relationships. Obviously anyone who wants to flirt and be out there should do that — but don’t screw over a good person or drag them along while you bat lashes, send flirty texts, pursue others and sample various mouths, D’s and V’s. If you want to act single, be single – and if you want to be in a relationship, act like a decent human being.
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It started with a right swipe, a little green heart. Tinder of course.
Though I acknowledge and appreciate the differences in human experiences, and while your heartbreak is (and always will be) uniquely and completely your own, I must urge you to consider that I have been where you are.
With his hat cocked back, body tilted away from his cane, and right forefinger pointing directly at his audience, Joseph Ducreux commands the attention of those viewing his self-portrait.
I was born in 1990; he was born in 1973. I’m 23; he just turned 40.