10 Things We Shouldn’t Share With Friends
1. Thunder. I’m not referring to the rumbling noise that follows lightning. This use of ‘thunder’ signifies the attention or spotlight being shined on someone. When it’s you or a friend’s special moment, it should belong solely to that individual. Nobody should use someone else’s big announcement or good news as an opportunity to leapfrog them with their personal revelations. Sadly some feel as if everything is a competition, and they must top everyone they know. It’s perfectly fine to not be the topic of conversation sometimes. Let others shine without a co-star.
2. Loofas. Loofas exfoliate. Exfoliating is the process of removing a layer of dead skin, dirt and any other gross stuff occupying someone’s body. That being said, if you’re willing to use another person’s loofa, you should probably question your decision-making skills as well as lack of personal hygiene awareness.
3. Exes. Pretty much nothing good can come of trading romantic companions amongst a group of pals. Perhaps it’ll work for a period of time but eventually someone’s feelings will get hurt, and friendships will be compromised. I’m a firm believer in a person being off limits once they’ve dated a member of your inner circle, but different strokes for different folks.
4. Bowel Movement Stories. When people talk about poop at the dinner table, someone will cut them off and say that it’s not the place. Here’s the thing — there’s never truly a time or place where people want to hear detailed bathroom tales. Besides the rare moments in which a poop joke is timely and hilarious, we can do without ‘em. Keep that (pun in 3, 2, 1…) sh-t to yourself.
5. Razors. This should go without saying, but shockingly it doesn’t. I’ve heard of offenders on numerous occasions that see no issue in shaving their bodies with a previously used razor. It’s an abnormal concept, being that scraped skin can lead to the spreading of several serious infections. You may think that it’s not a Bic deal, but the dangers are real.
6. Chap Stick. Whenever somebody asks to use my lip balm I’m petrified. There are only two possible methods a person using your Chap Stick can utilize and both of them are germy. They can either rub it directly on their lips (the same lips that you have no idea where they’ve been) or they’ll swab some up on their bacteria covered finger and apply it that way. This scenario is lose-lose really, but saying ‘no’ to sharing your balm could save you some cold sores as well.
7. Bar Soap. Everyone should be entitled to his or her own personal cleaning supplies that are coming in direct contact with the epidermis. Nobody likes a bar of soap decorated with someone else’s body hair and griminess. Sharing other stuff is completely fine with me though. If you want to use my shower and spot body wash or shampoo, have at it. (Although, I don’t speak for the masses.)
8. Drinks. We’ve all had someone ask for a sip of our beverage. Some of us don’t mind at all, others cringe and feel the urge to say no — but typically we all cave and comply with their wishes. It’s really no big deal, minus the fact that backwash is an unpreventable occurrence when the mouth & straw/bottle touch base. With that knowledge it’s hard not to pour out the final portion of the drink, which is surely full of crumbs, residue and saliva from whomever you shared with.
9. Bathroom Experience Details. 96% of the time bowel movement descriptions and toilet tales are unwanted and inappropriate. Some things are simply better kept to oneself. I completely understand all of the facets and funny possibilities that come with dropping a deuce, but please don’t bring this relatable scenario discussion to the dinner table.
10. Bacon. Or any other ridiculously delicious foods for that matter. This rule is including but not limited to; cotton candy, churros, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, cheese pizzas (belonging to the few people who only like cheese, when there are several topping heavy pizzas around). Oh, and pink or red Starbursts.
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Maybe it’s just me, but love just doesn’t seem real unless the interactions are taking place somewhere that necessitates some actual human decency.
The time I recognized my human privilege in the face of a mind controlled Stone Giant whose people had been enslaved for 1,000 years.
My hands were numb but I pushed the shortcut to my mom’s cell phone. No service at 30,000 feet. “Call me ASAP,” I wrote, and pushed send. Delivery Failure.
Used with permission from Honest Slogans. 1. Pizza Hut 2. Candy Crush 3. Target 4. Best Buy 5. Apple 6. America Online 7. Hot Pockets 8. Waffle House 9. Lego 10. Adobe 11. Hulu 12. Wii 13. Subway 14.