The personal space violator (PSV). He/she will enter your personal bubble on a regular basis, filling your nostrils with aromas of coffee (or worse, morning) breath as if three inches of distance between faces is standard when holding a conversation. This person also tends to be very touchy-feely far too often. Back pats, shoulder rubs, hand grabbing and other irritating and uncalled for physical contact are expected from the PSV. A great repellent or defense mechanism is eating canned tuna or an onion heavy meal before chatting with him/her, then using an intense “H” on words to really let ‘em feel the funk. A forceful, “HHHey! HHHow are you?” will be sure that the pungent scent of your breath steams up their nose, into their brain and permanently reminds them to increase the speaking range in the future.
The chatter box. This is the individual blessed with the gift of gab, who never fails to keep you freshly up-to-date on their kids, pets, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, weekend activities and everything in between. They’ll talk until your ears bleed and continue rambling on after that, despite the fact that you’re clearly busy. Their loquaciousness will take over and disregard your uninterested head nods, blank stares, “mmmhmm’s,” “really’s,” “wow’s,” and “that’s funnys.” Oh yeah, they’re also far too nice to ever be blatantly rude to, so they’ll never take a hint.
The potentially crazy guy. His tendencies are strange enough for most to recognize a possible lack of mental stability. Maybe he’s peculiarly quiet, easily aggravated, or seemingly bottling up the daily disrespect and frustration that comes with most jobs. How do you recognize this person? Think of the co-worker that you specifically treat nicely, making an effort to say “hi” or include in group conversation/activity, strictly based on fear. Fear that on any given day, he might snap and go on a violent killing spree involving some type of high-powered firearm and you, because of your previously built good rapport, will be graciously spared by the mad man.
The Dwight Schrute. If you watch The Office then you already know what a Dwight Schrute is. This person takes their job, way too seriously. Of course if you work in a hospital, are a lawyer, do coal mining or have a career that you’re dedicated to or passionate about, that’s completely understandable. On the other hand if you work fast food, retail or something where lives aren’t at stake, clawing your way to the top of the company in cutthroat fashion isn’t a good look. Not undermining or disrespecting those employed in less vital fields (because I myself have worked all of them), but lighten up on occasion. It’s one thing to want to do well at your job — regardless of what it is — but you don’t have to alienate yourself from co-workers or throw them under the bus because you want to be Regional Manager someday.
The person who gets away with everything. This is the character who comes in late regularly, leaves early often, calls out, under performs, takes extended breaks and lunches, provides subpar customer service, talks back and disrespects management, yet the harshest punishment they receive is a write up. A meaningless slip of paper that goes into the employee’s folder, never to be seen again isn’t a very stiff penalty for sucking at your job in every aspect on a daily basis.