17 Types Of People There’s A Special Place In Hell For
- People who start to say something attention-grabbing, then stop short. EXAMPLE: “Oh my God! Did I tell you about what happened with Karen and I the other night?! — Actually, never mind…”
- Those pesky cell phone kiosk salespeople in the mall, who aggressively holler for your attention, even if you refuse to make eye contact.
- The obnoxious jackasses who clap at the end of movies. The cast and crew aren’t present in the theater, therefore your applause is unnecessary and pointless.
- Drivers who accelerate, cut right in front of you, and then go five below the speed limit.
- #People #who #Use #Hash #Tags #On #Facebook. To those of you who do this, the hash tag is meant to be used on Twitter, where it actually serves a purpose.
- People who clearly see you watching television, but still insist on talking over your show.
- Dog owners who let their beloved canines take dumps in the yards of others.
- Restaurant goers who don’t compensate good customer service. Most waiters/ waitresses survive primarily on their tips, so if you can’t afford the extra expense — don’t go out to eat.
- (a) Teachers/Professors who give homework over Spring Break and tests on Mondays. (b) Teachers/Professors who make Scantron tests that have answers under the same letter three or more times in a row. Even if I know the answer, it’s hard to select “B” three consecutive times.
- Social networkers who watch brand new episodes of different TV series and give updates as it plays out, spoiling it for those of us who aren’t watching live. (Twitter’s “Trending Topics” ruined multiple episodes of The Walking Dead for me and many others out there.)
- Grocery store shoppers who stand in the middle of an aisle with their cart, blocking everybody else.
- People who persistently attempt to talk to you when you have headphones in.
- People who constantly use the phrase “SWAG” and/or “YOLO”.
- People who see that you want their parking spot, so they take their sweet time getting into their car, moving at a snail’s pace.
- Inconsiderate customers who enter businesses with fewer than five minutes left before closing time. (Look, technically they aren’t in the wrong, but as an employee, this is beyond obnoxious.)
- Sick people who cough and sneeze without covering.
- Couples who constantly breakup, get back together and make a conscious effort to share every negative, ludicrous detail of their relationship with the world via Facebook.
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They say laughter is the best medicine, and six months ago I found myself highly medicated, that is, I remembered how to laugh.
If we are not happy now with ourselves and what we are doing then what the hell makes us think that we will be happy or satisfied later?
I remember the grass tickling my bare legs and the stains on your shirt, and you smirking at my excitement before your tongue swirled pralines and cream into my mouth.
Second semester: I wonder how much coffee it would take to kill someone?