Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Sometimes it feels like you’ve spent your entire life waiting for the zombie apocalypse to happen, just so you can finally do something interesting for once. You would be the badass bitch from hell that is out killing zombies for sport, more of the childlike joy of Zombieland than the gritty business like zombie killing in TWD. You’d keep your loved ones safe, and they’d cling to you, knowing you’re their best hope of survival.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

A Taurus would be a strong survivor, it’s pretty difficult (almost impossible) to break a Taurus. But their fault would be their independence. They would eschew the safety of joining a camp and try to make it on their own, which is unnecessarily difficult. You’re going to be eaten by a walker in the middle of the night while you pass out after being up for 3 days straight guarding yourself.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

A Gemini would not survive the end times in almost any scenario. They are too nice and too curious, and too passionate to sit still. They will try to make friends with everyone and give too many of their supplies away or end up being double-crossed by someone they trusted. On the plus side, no one will kill their spirit and they’ll have a grand time killing zombies while they last.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Cancers are stealth badass. They’re so sensitive that literally everything in the world has hurt them at one time or another, so they’ve had a lifetime of toughing it out to practice on. They also have good discernment when it comes to who to allign with. They won’t be a killing machine but if they fall in with the right people they will pull their weight and survive.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

A Leo will thrive in the end times, they finally have an opportunity to shine. They’ll lead a group through the wilderness, and be popular among those in the group. They may not be the biggest or baddest camp, but they’ll be tight-knit and preserve a level of humanity that’s rare among their peers.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

A Virgo will be an integral member to a large group, and they’ll survive because better survivors than them will protect them because of what they can offer the group. Virgos are workhorses and they’ll make any camp they’re a part of 110% better than it was before they found it. They’re post-apocalypse life will be pretty cushy, because of all they can do to provide.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Like a Gemini, a Libra would befriend the wrong people in the zombie apocalypse. But unlike a Gemini, a Libra would make the bad guys her bitch. She would be the queen of the bad guy camp, probably Neegan’s #1 crush, and thus totally protected and safe from the shitstorm going on in the outside world.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

A Scorpio will barely notice an apocalypse has occurred. They’ve been ready to fight to the death with everyone they meet for years. This is just a different day, but the same old shit. They’ll survive, either on their own or as part of a group, they don’t really care as long as they get to beat up the dead (and, probably, the living too) every day.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

A Sagittarius would love the adventure of the new world order, but like everything else in life they’d fail to take it seriously enough. A Sagittarius would die in some dumbass way, probably trying to kill a zombie in a comical way in front of their friends. There’s good value here, good LOLs are tough to find in the end times, but at some point it’s going to come at the expense of their life.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

A Capricorn would survive because of their callousness and hoarder abilities. They’re super smart so they’d hit the supply sights no one else things of while surrounding themselves with muscle so that they’re protected from anything really bad. They’re cutthroat enough to not just survive, but rule an empire when all of civilization collapses.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

An Aquarius would die helping someone who cannot be helped. Their hearts are too big for the zombie apocalypse, they’re simply incapable of the callousness necessary for survival. You’ll die a martyr, but still, you’ll die.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

A Pisces will die while like, daydreaming or making some zombie art or some shit. They are not built for survival situations. They probably won’t fall in with a group because artistry is not a sought after post-apocalypse career, and they definitely don’t have the wherewithal to make it on their own.