8 Things Every Woman Who’s Tried Tinder (Even One Time) Has Experienced

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Men who think asking for sex is a good way to introduce yourself to a woman.

Does this ever work?

A surprisingly long list of men for whom ‘hey’ is an enticing opening sentence.

It’s a well documented fact that in online dating, women receive tons of messages compared to men. This would be a thing to be jealous of, if it weren’t for how completely lackluster 99% of these messages are. Mostly, they all just say “hey.”

What’s most shocking about these people is most of them work in the business world! They know about marketing! They know, consciously, that if you are in a situation in which the supply is higher than the demand, you make your product stand out in some way. In no other area of their lives do they expect to get what they want by being so passive about it. And yet here we are.

Married men who think you’re going to be totally fucking chill with them being married.

Married men think all single women fantasize about having an affair with them. When, you know, single girls actually fantasize about ending up with someone who isn’t such a baby bitch that they go on a dating app and try to hook up with randoms instead of working on their relationship or being strong enough to leave something that no longer benefits them. They also all have the same story about their Big Bad Wife who never gives them enough attention and how they’re “basically just roommates now.” K.

Men who are clearly copy and pasting the same message to a bunch of random women.

When it’s a long message that is also somehow (???) very generic, you can tell that this dude is copy and pasting this to a bunch of women to see who will get a response. My question is this: it’s very obvious what you are doing and you would have to be stupid not to know that. Do you want to end up with someone who is stupid? This is how you end up with someone who is stupid. You’re going to get married and she’s going to fall for a phishing scam and lose your retirement.

Men who express their anger at the world through their profile.

“No game players” “I hate drama.” “Not looking for women who…[insert hyper specific thing that probably only applies to their ex].”

For some reason these men are so entrenched in their last relationship that they think its appropriate to begin a new one by shit-talking their ex. Women do this too and it’s lame as hell. Grow up and leave your baggage in the past where it belongs.

Men who don’t think it’s AT ALL CREEPY to find a woman elsewhere online and confront them about unmatching.

This is not a good idea.

If in your head you started to ask “but what about if…” let me answer your question for you:

This is not a good idea. Don’t do this.

Men who turn unexpectedly violent when you don’t live up to their expectations.

The pseudo-anonymity of Tinder creates a world where people think the words they say have no consequences. The other “people” are just profiles, and if they hurt us by rejecting us, we can make them hurt with our words. At least, I think that’s what’s going on here. I can only speak from a woman’s perspective but this happens commonly and I’ve never in my entire life even felt the hint of an urge to yell at a stranger for not messaging me back.

Actually, just the lowest depths of humanity in general.

What’s actually shocking isn’t the content of this message (we’ve all gotten one like this) it is how normal the guys who say things like this seem before the switch is flipped. Like, I bet people in his everyday life know him as a “good” guy. He has friends and family and people love him, and yet here he is, speaking to actual humans like this. God help us all.