Thought Catalog
December 22, 2014

Why Do Men Get So Angry At Women When They Are (Nicely) Rejected?

Report This Article
What is the issue?

My biggest pet peeve is when people say women are the emotional sex. It’s not true. Men are just as emotional as women (if not more). Anger is an emotion and anyone who knows a modern male knows how irrational and non-sequitur a dude’s anger can be. This is especially true if you’ve spent any amount of time dating — the phenomena of seemingly nice men erupting with anger when you don’t go along with their advances is very real and scary.

A meme Instagram account, Bye Felipe, compiles texts and chat screenshots of exactly what happens when a woman doesn’t give a man the attention he assumes he deserves. It’s super shocking to read some of the submissions — how quickly a guy can go from trying to woo you to calling you words I didn’t think normal people even used. But unfortunately, it’s also pretty ubiquitous. I even contributed a text I got from a guy because his anger outburst was so disproportional to anything that had ever happened between us.

Here are some (sadly normal) examples:

#maleentitlement 👆 #BYEFELIPE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on





This is what happens when we decline politely. #canthavenicethings #BYEFELIPE #YOUAREANASSHOLE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on



This makes so much sense. 👍 #BYEFELIPE #dicks of #tinder

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on


Girls have too much freedom! 🇺🇸You have too much sex! 😹lolololol #BYEFELIPE

A post shared by Bye Felipe 👋 (@byefelipe) on

Each of these exchanges reveals something very wrong with the way we view women: once she stops playing the game — stroking the guys ego, serving as a potential love interest or potential sex object — once she is a person with her own agency she is someone to be screamed at, belittled, and threatened.

I can guarantee none of these women were looking to piss someone off or to mess around with an asshole guy. Dating is about meeting strangers and trying to determine if they are good and decent people (and about trying to cover up your own flaws and convince others you are good and decent regardless of the reality). These men, seemingly normal, everyday men, feel entitled to women who act like Barbie robots, and lose their shit when that doesn’t happen. Being treated as sub-human isn’t what anyone signs up for.

After I posted my own “Bye Felipe” text, a commenter said, “God works in mysterious ways.” That’s not the kind of thing I would usually say, but as sad as the reality is, the silver lining is that it opens your eyes to the reality of how many men think — and the necessity of screening them for a long time. TC mark

Cataloged in , ,