The 13 Things People Who Are Happy In Their 20s Know

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1. You don’t have to solve your whole life problem all at once. You can drive from NY to LA in the dark — with your headlights illuminating only 30 or so feet in front of you at a time. You can make it through life, towards your goals, in this same fashion.

2. Everyone’s life seems bad in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. Put some sleep sounds on, get some rest, and you’ll be able to see everything with perspective in the morning.

3. Adversity is a good thing. Any growth that has ever happened in your life is a direct result of a bad thing that happened.

4. Getting the kind of job you want and being successful at it is equal parts hard work and being smart. Saying “my dream job is to work in fashion pr and I’ll work so hard at it once someone gives me a chance” is the wrong thing to do. If you already had that passion and drive, you’d be blogging about fashion and pr or attending events or creating some way to meet people who can’t wait to give you the job you want — because they’d be crazy not to after seeing what you can do.

5. There’s no point in trying to be impressive. It costs you too much time in the present and regret in the future (when you wonder what would have happened if you did X opportunity that you didn’t, because people might not understand it). You have to figure out what you are passionate about and chase it. Sure, this will make you vulnerable and you might not seem cool for awhile, but if you don’t do this, what is the point?

6. If you judge others harshly, you can’t help but judge yourself harshly. If you take time to think and say positive things about others, it will rub off on your own self-esteem.

7. You might get special treatment or win an argument in the moment if you look like you’re a victim, but in the long run it’s way more empowering to win because of merit, rather than default.

8. Everything always works out, in one way or another. Nothing is worth giving yourself a heart attack over.

9. If everyone likes you, you’re behind the times. Popularity doesn’t mean you’re good or that you’re doing everything right, it just means you haven’t taken any chances — you’re only doing what everyone else is doing, which is why you have their approval. You believe in a slightly more positive and charitable version of what Kanye says, “I don’t care what people think, because people don’t think.”

10. You are never “stuck.” You are not stuck in a job, or in a marriage, or in any other shitty situation. You control your life.

11. However, feeling stuck, or sad, or overwhelmed is normal. It doesn’t just happen to you because you’re exceptionally loser-y. Everyone messes up, everyone has bad shit happen to them. It’s part of life and you’ll get through it.

12. Most things can be fixed by: three deep breaths, a hot shower, a long walk, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, and catching up on sleep. In that order.

13. No, these are not “the best days of your life.” You don’t have to live every day in fear you are “wasting” your 20’s. Whatever day it is can (and should) be part of “the best days of your life.” Even if you do waste your entire 20s it doesn’t matter, it’s never too late to start over and make your life what you want it to be.