Date a girl who’s a basic bitch. Find her in line at Starbucks and tell her you, too, wish it was pumpkin spice season. Tell her they should make a reality show out of her and her friends–they’re so zany. Weird things are LITERALLY ALWAYS happening to them. Tell her she looks like Kate Middleton. Whisk her away to the afternoon showing of a new Reese Witherspoon movie where you’ll brush hands reaching for popcorn (no butter).
A girl who’s a basic bitch knows how to find pleasure in the little things: a perfectly Instagramed latte, the crisp feel of a freshly laundered yoga pant hugging her ass, an inspirational Marilyn Monroe quote displayed on her Twitter feed. A basic bitch will remind you that life can always be good. You can always live, always laugh, always love. Even on the hardest of days, you can curl up next to her and she’ll whisper “11:11 make a wish” in your ear.
Date a girl who’s a basic bitch. She will never judge you for drinking Miller Lite or watching How I Met Your Mother or having a degree in communications. She will fill you with the best compliments she knows. She will tell you that you’re a Big, not an Aidan, and listen attentively while you explain that yes, she is the Charlotte of her friend group.
Date a girl who’s a basic bitch. She is the girl who will open you up to new cultures as she explains what her Chinese wrist tattoo means.
A girl who’s a basic bitch will make you a better person. You’ll browse the Self Improvement aisle at Barnes & Noble together and buy books that stand half-read but color-coordinated on a Pottery Barn bookshelf in your condo. You’ll spend mornings together in bed, planning to read but watching a Top Chef marathon and planning to take cooking classes together instead.
Find a girl who’s a basic bitch and hold her tight. You deserve a girl who lets you see her with #nofilter, one who tells you she loves you through Owl City lyrics, one who always knows the perfect cupcake to make you happy. She is that girl.