1. The knowledge that on a bad day, a fresh coat of mascara or a bold hue of lipstick can give you an instant attitude adjustment.

2. How, and when, crying your way out of something is your safest bet.

3. Which angles are the most flatter from which to take a selfie/group photo.

4. Heels. Or, the ability to add however many inches to your height you desire and tower over your enemies whenever you want.

5. Maternal instincts.

6. People innately trust you more than men.

7. Genitals that are tucked up neatly inside your body rather than hanging precariously between your legs.

8. The ability to have extremely close female friendships without people calling you “gay” or thinking you “aren’t womanly.”

9. Men think with their dicks, that’s pretty freaking easy to manipulate when you want to.

10. The assumption of innocence. People’s default setting is to assume women are sweet and less likely to do anything wrong.

11. The ability to choose to be a stay at home mom or follow a career, with less cultural stigma than stay at home dads.

12. That whole “women and children first” thing.

13. The odds are kind of stacked against you–which–can be a good thing because when you accomplish something everyone remarks about how amazing you are, to do it against the odds.