December 11, 2013

23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends (That Are Probably Actually Demons)

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What is the issue?
Yupppp. Just when you thought you were ready for poopy diapers and drippy noses and no sleep ever again–the REAL reason having kids is so terryfing: they are fucking creepers. A mom asked Reddit users to share the scariest thing their kids have ever said about their imaginary friends. See you at the bottom.

1. He doesn’t have a face

My son from the age of three always tells me about the “creeper man” who lives in my mom and dads bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said “Oh, he doesn’t have a face.”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.

3. Little girl ghost

When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said “That looks like Kelly.” “Kelly who?” we say “You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.”

The Amityville Horror
The Amityville Horror