29 Ways You Know You Work For A Non-Profit
1. Dressing up for your office is wearing khakis.
2. Your agency is big on ‘internships’ and ‘volunteers’ and you seem to be the only one who realizes that the time it takes to recruit, train and manage them somehow outweighs any time saved.
3. It takes at least two signatures to place a $30 office supply order.
4. You executive director is completely insane (that is, when they’re actually around).
5. You’re a member of an office ‘diversity committee.’
6. One of your friends starts planning a wedding and you realize you know the pros and cons of every event venue in town.
7. You say the word ‘community’ in excess of 50 times per day.
8. Your vision of hell looks a lot like a board meeting you’re roped into chairing at the last minute.
9. If you’re one of the younger people in the office, the ED has asked if you could ‘get us on that Facebook website.’
10. No project happens (even if it’s just an email to a single person) without at least three people looking at it and adding their opinions and edits.
11. You’ve spent an entire workday stuffing envelopes full of gala invitations or holiday appeals. (You’re also on a first name basis with the people at your nearest post office).
12. Everyone you work with still relies on paper files, and the office is filled with them.
13. When someone leaves, it feels like the end of the world because most people already do the work of 2-3 people and the higher ups ‘aren’t sure’ if funding will allow a replacement.
14. You get paid just a little more than the people your non-profit helps.
15. You have a voodoo doll named ‘Raiser’s Edge.’
16. You’ve been a part of a ‘restructure.’
17. You get guilt tripped every time you ask to go to a professional development event.
18. On your death bed you’ll still be able to recite the agency’s vision, mission and goals.
19. Someone has told you, at least once, that instead of raising money you should ‘just get more volunteers.’
20. You’re excited to get a raise, until your boss tells you it’s a 2% increase.
21. While all your friends are taking extended time off around the holidays, you’re knee deep in the busiest time of the entire year.
22. Your computer could be in the Smithsonian to document early 00′s era technology.
23. Your bosses use phrases like ‘partnering,’ ‘full-spectrum,’ ‘holistic,’ and ‘new capacities.’
24. A typo is considered a “big problem.”
25. All your staff events are potluck.
26. While not telling you who to vote for, your boss highlights candidates who would be ‘beneficial’ to your office.
27. You’ll never let anyone know you know how to fix the office printer because then you’ll be the go-to staff member every time it jams.
28. It’s a cause for celebration when you get to leave your desk for lunch.
29. Your co-workers are slightly stressed out all the time, but they’re some of the nicest people you know.
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Shouldn’t a national leader’s sexual desirability be an issue, especially if it’s a chick?
8. Take advantage of the different types of living situations
24. Hair loss due to high levels anxiety.
Before you make the possibly life-altering decision to go and have a meal at Waffle House, I believe it is my duty as a reporter to inform you of what could happen.