What Your 90s Crush Says About You
At some point you ran a somewhat popular social justice blog. You have volunteered for a political campaign and enjoy commenting on news articles on your city newspaper’s website or writing letters to the editor. You have short hair and insist that your name be pronounced a specific (and non-intuitive) way.
You are an extrovert and have a lot of friends. It’s hard for you to take your eyes off your smartphone. Your current partner definitely knows how to hustle.
You were the friend that people had to inform of social truths everyone else just knew. You are currently a writer or a graphic designer. You’ve read a lot of Chuck Klosterman and think you’ll become a travel writer one day.
You were the very first person in your friend group to achieve life milestones like getting married, having a kid and buying a house. You wish your significant other wouldn’t surprise you with their decisions so often.
You played football in high school and possibly college. You met your current partner while in school and have a “crew” of your mutual friends. You are a happy person. You may join a country club one day.
You live in a small town or a suburb close to your family. You work in the same profession as a friend or family member. You love Facebook.
You spent at least the first few years of your adult dating life dating guys who dropped out of college because they didn’t “need” a degree. You have slept on a beach with a guy at least once in your life. You prefer dogs over cats.
Your current significant other changes her personality every two years but is exceptionally gorgeous. You’ve never kept a journal or a blog.
You listen to hip hop radio stations exclusively. You’ve dated a lot of guys who have motorcycles. When you watched Entourage you had a crush on Kevin Connolly.
You spend at least 40% of your work day screwing around and in general try not to take things seriously. You have a lot of close male friends. Your favorite sport is hockey.
You went to a liberal arts college and majored in something that people make jokes about. Now you work at a non-profit and are currently single.
You are an introvert whose closest friends probably don’t know you that well. You have never dated someone from inside your own friend group. You and your partner do things like fishing and hunting together.
You’ve never been intimidated by confident or successful women. You actually like it when they’re a bit dramatic. You have more female friends than male friends and your partner makes more money than you, but you think that’s cool.
You have made some terrible, terrible decisions in your love life. Like, really terrible. Actually, are you okay right now? I’m here if you need someone to talk to.
You were in AP or gifted classes in high school. About 50% of the guys you’ve dated have been shorter than you. You have a cooler job than most of your peers.
You were the first of your friends to experiment with weed. Your apartment is always messy but you are happy with it. You recently quit smoking using an e-cig. Congrats!
People always come to you for advice and you are very well-liked by your peers. You work in a creative profession. Your favorite movie is American Beauty and you like photography.
In high school, you only dated jock girls. Your current partner has a high-powered job and kicks ass at it. If you were 10 years younger your crush would be Ginny Weasley.
You’ve had some #dark relationships that you’ve stayed in way too long. At one point you moved to a new city to try to figure your life out.
Sarah Reeves Merrin
The first time you met your current partner you had to ask her three times to speak up before you could hear her name. You rarely make decisions that surprise those around you. You can’t wait to own a house in the suburbs.
Kristen from Are You Afraid of the Dark?
You’ve never dated a woman with hair above her shoulders and you have experimented with Wicca. You love Game of Thrones have at least one gothic decoration in your home.
You do not exist. Or you do exist but you have never had a girlfriend who was exactly what you wanted. You have no qualms with plastic surgery. In fact, you wish more women would get it.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”