9-Year-Old Kid Steals His Parents’ Life Savings, Spends It On Candy
Today in WTF news, a 9-year-old Ukrainian boy spent his parents’ life savings ($4,000, kept under the sofa) on what must’ve been a shitload of candy.
In an effort to protect themselves from a theft of this sort, the boy’s parents kept their money in dollars and euros rather than in local currency — in return, the boy enlisted an allegedly mentally-ill adult to help with the heist.
I feel terrible for this family, but mostly the person I keep thinking about is the candy shop owner (who didn’t notify anyone — the missing money was noticed by the kid’s father upon coming home from work). Like, who are you, Candy Man? Would you not be the least bit suspicious that some pre-tween was rollin’ up to your candy store with dollar signs in his eyes asking for his own weight in Coca~Cola gummies?
The boy didn’t use all of the 4K on sweets, if you were wondering — he gave some to the adult accomplice. Also, he couldn’t finish what he’d bought, so he shared it with his friends. Sigh.
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I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
Describe for us the threesome with your OKCupid hookup.