Thought Catalog
March 19, 2017

Read This If You Feel Like You’re Taking Too Many Steps Back In Life

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What is the issue?
Allegra Messina

So here we are again, feeling like we just took two steps back. Maybe it was that long-lost song that came on or his buried flannel you found that made your world come to a screeching stop. What do we do? What should we do? Run away? With more boys and booze to help in our escape? No, not this time. Never again. We’ve done that too many times and let me ask you, where has that taken us?

So, here we are.

Here, where old feelings start to swell back up. Maybe they’re feelings of regret, shame, hope, nostalgia, you name it. Maybe you’ll decide to put that song on repeat or hesitantly sniff his forgotten flannel imagining his faint scent still lingering. You might even spend the entire night with the what ifs and what could’ve beens. Or maybe you don’t remember the last time you cried because of the heartache and felt the need to yesterday, or today, maybe even tomorrow. There’s one golden truth we need to know and it’s simple really.

It’s that it’s okay.

It’s okay to feel like in one moment you’re great, so liberated doing your thang and in the next feel a fresh sting and the all too familiar pain from that inevitable goodbye like it happened just a few minutes ago.

It’s okay. You’re going to be A-OK.

Now maybe you’re full of anger. Anger over the unresolved, grown distance, and toxicity that’s left you with nothing but why? You might even point the finger and blame him for fucking you up. I mean, he did charm us with his clichés and forevers. But was it really his fault for our demise?

He didn’t fuck you up, sweet girl, he never did. Sure, he was once the boy you cherished and gazed upon like he was your whole world. Key word: was. Honey, you had yet to discover an entire world of your own that you have the power to shape however you’d like, demand, and please. And so, you took it day by day. “Step by step,” everyone said. You and I both know these weren’t the words we wanted to hear. But we listened anyway. No matter how long it took we eventually took that first step. Then soon came the next, and the next.

It’s okay. It will all be okay. We’re okay.

Now, look at yourself. Take a good look. Don’t you dare look away.
Now, smile. Don’t you dare fake it. What a beautiful smile.
Now, do you know what you just did? You just made your first step.
Or maybe it was your tenth or hundredth. Who’s counting anyway?
And you’ll make infinite more. I promise you will.

So, we’re still here. That wasn’t so bad, was it? Maybe a few light blows to our heart, but we’re still intact. Now where do we go from here?

My friend, we’re taking three steps forward.

We might even skip together like the best of friends.

And as for tomorrow? You fill in that blank. TC mark