1.” It’s not you, it’s me.”
It’s you, but I want to try to spare your feelings so you don’t go psycho on me.
2. “I love you, I’m just not in love with you.”
You’re a great friend, but I don’t see us getting married so I want to end this now before I waste anymore of our time.
3. “I really just need to work on myself.”
I need permission to be utterly selfish, slightly reckless, and maybe even a little all over the place and you’re preventing me from doing that. (If you’re both under the age of 30 this is completely applicable reason to break-up in my opinion, beyond that — eh)
4. “I think we should see other people.”
I’m already seeing other people.
5. “You deserve someone better than me”
I know this is shitty but I can’t really come up with any reason why I’m not into you anymore.
6. “We’re just on two different paths right now.”
I really don’t see you growing up anytime soon and neither do any of the other important people in my life who’ve been waiting for me to do this for forever.
7. “I just don’t feel that spark.”
I’m not as sexually attracted to you as I thought I’d be.
8. “We’re just better off friends, you know?”
I don’t want a relationship but I’d still really love to fuck you occasionally.
9. “I just can’t emotionally handle a relationship right now.”
This is getting way too serious for me, I’m not ready to get married yet and this is starting to freak me out.
10. “I’m too young to be tied down.”
I want to see other people casually without feeling guilty about it.
11. “I don’t really see a future together.”
We’d make really ugly babies and my parents don’t like you.
12. “If you love something let it go, and if it returns it was meant to be.”
I’m not sure this is the right decision but I’d like to give you the hope that we might get back together in the event that I change my mind when I realize that dating is the worst.