21 Thoughts Everyone Has After Eating McDonald’s

1. “I need to wash my hands.”

2. “Never again. I mean it this time. Never again.”

3. “I need to change my clothes.”

4. “Why did I order two McChickens, when one would have clearly sufficed??”

5. [To fellow McDonald’s eater] “Let’s not talk about this.”

6. “Someone get these wrappers away from me.”

7. “Wait, no, don’t take my soda — I’m still drinking it.”

8. [Midway through bite of second sandwich] “I… I can’t do this.”

9. “I’m making myself a salad tonight.”

10. “I’m gonna go to the grocery store and get some vegetables… is there a Whole Foods around here?”

11. “I should have at least gone to Wendy’s.”

12. “I’m gonna go watch a documentary about how evil McDonald’s is.”

13. “Is Super Size Me on Netflix?”

14. “What was that actually made of?”

15. [Googles that picture of strawberry soft serve-looking chicken.]

16. “This is like the worst hangover I’ve ever had.”

17. “Let’s all take a nap.”

18. “No more fast food for at least a month.”

19. “Well… except Chipotle. But honestly that doesn’t count, Chipotle is basically healthy.”

20. “Wait, isn’t Chipotle owned by McDonald’s????”

21. [Two hours later] “Are those McNuggets too cold to eat?”