1. There is a reason why we refer to dogs as “man’s best friend,” and it’s because they have a special connection with us that no other animal does. They read our communication cues, look to us for direction, and feel with us (unlike their disdainful, indifferent cousin, the cat).
2. They protect things by their awesome nature, including when they are barely bigger than the teensy kittens they are defending:
3. While they may occasionally rub their asses across the carpet right in front of you as though that wasn’t THE RUDEST THING THEY COULD POSSIBLY DO, they immediately regret their indiscretions and will look at you with that adorable face of “I’m sorry, please don’t stop loving me.”
4. Sometimes they want a belly rub and so they turn over as you’re walking over to them, and it’s like some magical magnet that will draw your hand to their tummy.
5. Unlike cats, who often show complete disregard for their owners until food is being taken down from a shelf, dogs will run up to you as you walk in the door because a few hours at work for you is an eternity without their best friend for them.
6. Dogs welcoming soldiers home is literally the most adorable/wonderful/beautiful thing ever. Please direct me to a cat who would ever behave like this after their owner has been at war.
7. Every day is Christmas for a dog when there are table scraps that go into his bowl after dinner.
8. There is an incredibly powerful sense of loyalty with dogs, where you can depend on their love and their companionship even in your lowest moments. They demonstrate a kind of unconditional compassion that very few humans, if any, are capable of themselves.
9. While they have a diverse range of interests, not one of their activities includes licking their hair off and vomiting small piles of fiber around your house.
10. (That said, sometimes they eat a little too much grass and throw up fluorescent green puddles, but this is a more rare occasion and is heavily balanced by the humor factor.)
11. Despite the fact that they’re likely dying inside with impatience and constipation, dogs will wait patiently for you to give them the signal that it’s okay to go out. You can torture them with a high-pitched “Wanna go out???” for basically as long as you want, if you’re totally evil.
12. They don’t poop in boxes in your house that you then have to empty out by hand like a medieval serf.
13. There is a size and shape of dog for everyone, from the Great Pyrenees who will fill all your Winterfell-related needs, to the trembling chihuahua that can be dressed up humiliatingly and carried around in your oversized purse.
14. When you are sad, they know, and they will come over to you with that look that’s like, “Hey, large, hairless dog that I love, please stop being sad. There are so many tennis balls to be thrown, the world is a beautiful place.”
15. Much like Snow White, they befriend all matter of fauna and engage them in hilarious games. They are basically the only animals that are just like the Disney version of themselves.
16. Sometimes, seeing the way your dog looks at you makes you want to be a better person for them.
17. If you have neither the money nor the pipe network to have a garbage disposal, your dog’s dish is a viable substitute for all the things you don’t want to throw away. (Yes, they would love those pieces of fat you cut off your steak, thank you for asking!)
18. When you are injured or ill, they will lick you a lot in the hopes of bringing you back to tennis-ball throwing form. The licking won’t help on a physiological level, but it will help spiritually.
19. If you have a herding dog, they will often “herd” the family when they sense danger, by doing adorable things such as booping you with their noses or lightly nipping at your ankles to get you in a little manageable circle. They especially love doing this with children.
20. Even tiny dogs who can’t do shit are still going to do their best to protect you.
21. While a cat is liable to knock your full glasses off the table for their own morbid amusement, dogs can bring you things when you need them, such as the paper, or a sense of dignity in your superior choice of animal companion.
22. No matter how playful the dog might be with a grown up, they know to be gentle and soft with the new hairless baby family member.
23. This story (which is one amongst many) of dogs showing eternal loyalty even after their master’s death, because no cat in the whole wide world would ever do something like this.
24. When you put socks on them, they will look at you with the unmistakable gaze of, “Why, human? I have only loved you, what have I done to deserve this?”
25. Sometimes they want to cuddle you so much that they start crying because they can’t cuddle you hard enough, and it is the most wonderful thing ever.
26. Even tigers respect the seriousness that is a dog mid-grub.
27. It may be a cliché, but only because it’s true: There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Dogs are beautiful creatures that we are capable of destroying, but none of them are born bad. Cats, however, are certified assholes from fetushood on. Any love you sense from a cat is projected entirely on them, or because of the camaraderie you feel with their general disdain for life and human beings. Cats are just waiting for us to die, so they can eat our yummy faces and have free range of the furniture.