Well, I’ve done both things you mentioned (lost 100 pounds and gained a sense of style.) EVERYONE is nicer, not just women. Retail workers, professionals, people at bars.
I can say the most idiotic thing now and people will laugh (with me) and be interested in what I’m saying. Previously I could say something actually insightful or funny and just get ignored.
Same thing here. I haven’t gone through that much of a change, simply lost my acne, stayed the same weight, but changed about 20kg of fat into muscle, dressed better, and changed my persona a bit from self help material. However, the life change is MASSIVE. People respond to me better. Everybody comes up to me to talk to me. Girls look all the time. It just builds up even more confidence.
Two worries though:
I’m scared of becoming overconfident, and an asshole. I really don’t want to be like assholes I hated when I was a nice but insecure guy.
It really worries me that so much of how people interact and treat people is based on looks. You might disagree with me, but I promise you, a person’s looks are huge factor in how people treat other people. This makes me feel a little bit ashamed.
My life changed completely. Lost 70lbs and cut a foot of my hair off my sophomore year of college. People started treating, looking, talking and hitting on me differently. I’ve lost and gain friends with my so called “transformation”. Before my “transformation” people treated me like shit. I was that kid who always got picked on and had little to no friends.
However, this is not the case anymore. Lost a few friends due to their shallowness towards me after changing. Also gain some friends with more people starting to talk to me. Took me some time to feel comfortable with this change. I now learned to channel my looks for the greater good.
Edit: Here is another before pic. Me without glasses and in color. http://i.imgur.com/y42rP.jpg
I lost a ton of weight: http://i.imgur.com/SuLSG.jpg
But my confidence and self image is so fucked because of relentless teasing. I cannot approach women so I’m 24 and have still never had a girlfriend, sex, anything at all. The one girl that did go out with me for a month(I can’t really count that as a relationship) parted ways citing the following: “You’re too normal,” “you’re the first person that’s ever been nice and not abusive to me,” “nothing gets you mad,” “I don’t deserve someone like you, you’re the type of guy that dates like beauty queens, not girls like me.” I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
Fuck me, right? That was an even bigger blow and that happened just in the past few months. Didn’t help one damn bit. I go from “not good enough” to “too good”. I don’t think so, but apparently so according to that one girl.
All in all, I’m happy that I’m healthier and can actually run without asphyxiating myself. That’s a plus. Also, when people stopped flicking my double chin for fun, that was a great day.
This is my before and after
First of all, I get hit on a heck of a lot more now, mostly because I am more confident in public. In private, I still rip myself apart in front of the mirror. I have a really unhealthy relationship with my bathroom scale and a slight gain can ruin my whole day/week. People are nicer to me — both men and women. I run a LOT faster and doing general things (walking up the subway steps, carrying things) is a lot easier. Actually, even my family is nicer to me now.
Edit: I’d say I’m less stylish now, because sometimes I’m a little uncomfortable with my body and want to hide it (actually, more now than before)
Edit 2: Because this girl is really hot, too.
I’ve lost 83 lbs this year and for the first time since I was in 7th grade am under 200lbs. I was on a trip to Chicago over the weekend and the place I stayed had a Cardio room so I went up to run on the treadmill a bit. There was an attractive girl and I noticed she looked at me a few times and instead of thinking “sweet this chick is checking me out” all I could think was “What the fuck am I doing wrong”. The confidence isn’t there for me yet but I do notice people will look my way and smile more. I just need to learn to smile at them more better.
I was pretty homely until high school. Chubby with shitty curly hair and not at all popular among my classmates. I started hanging out with cooler kids and dressing better in junior high, even had a couple girlfriends (not at the same time, quit looking at me like that).
After my freshman year in high school my family moved us across town, and to a new school. The girls at the new school were lining up to give me their phone number and ask me out. This happened to my brother and myself, although he looked like Brad Pitt (this was before anybody knew who Brad Pitt was… as we got older there were a couple times girls followed him around the store because they really thought he was him) and had long hair so he didn’t really go through the same homely phase that I did. He was less surprised by all of the attention, but still overwhelmed like I was.
Then one day during my sophomore year we ditched school and went to hang out at my old school (same place they filmed San Dimas High in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, by the way) and see our old friends. Two of my ex-girlfriends saw me, went to their next class, and came back out with notes they had written telling me they wanted me back. I felt like the Ugly Duckling becoming a handsome swan.
Now I’m old, have a paunch, and going bald, but my wife loves me anyway… says I’m the best looking man on the planet. Who am I to argue with the prettiest woman alive?
About to get buried up in this thread but oh well, I just enjoy sharing as motivation.
My biggest weight = 255 lbs (http://i.imgur.com/Gld2L.jpg)
My smallest weight = 160.
Now = 195 (http://i.imgur.com/9AAWe.jpg)
Long story short, people see you as ugly when you’re bigger. I was never the attractive one, always skipped over, always “friend zoned”. The friend zone exists by the way due to lack of confidence. This is very generic, but fake it until you make it. Stick that chin up and pretend you’re the fucking man/woman. When you believe in yourself, so do others.
I dropped the weight, my confidence peaked, I got an incredibly kind and beautiful girlfriend. Before I was ignored, now I am on two banners for our college’s website (the banners that rotate when you first land on the homepage) and the other day I was asked to look into a modeling contract from an agent at work (photography company). Things are great.
Is dating easier? Incredibly.
Does everyone seem shallow? You bet. The difference between fat me and “attractive” me is all aesthetics. I’m still a loser.
I still have the confidence of an “ugly” kid. Even though the outside has changed, the interior complex’s remain the same! Can wear skinny jeans now though, so I guess that’s a plus?
I was never ‘fat’ but always out of shape and generally didn’t give a damn. I grew my hair out real long and played videogames (mostly WoW) through high school and some of college. I now go to the gym, care about how I dress, and all that jazz.
I’ve always loved socializing with people but it’s definitely different now. Before, I would try to give off a ‘not giving a fuck’ vibe and go home insecure, disappearing in my video games. Now, I just treat everyone (male and female) like a person and shit just comes easier, thus not having to give as many fucks for the same result. I highly recommend going to the gym to anyone who has self confidence issues, just educate yourself beforehand, please.
I’m a 5’4 18 year old girl and I use to be 200 pounds. High school/middle school was the bane of my existence. People don’t talk to you because you’re fat. I never had guy attention and shallow girls love to keep you fat because it makes them feel better about themselves.
I lost the weight in a year through a lot of fucking hard work.
Life became completely different. Everyone was nicer suddenly. Everyone wanted to be my friend. Everyone wanted to help me with something. Are you fucking joking? Yes, I get that I sweat a ton of lard everyday and I could probably have fed a small village if they wanted to raise me as livestock, but that didn’t make me any less of a human being.
In the time I was ignored I developed a personality and character rather than rely on my good looks. I love that I became who I am by my skills and interests rather than my looks and attention. I’m not trying to say good-looking people don’t have that, not at all, but I believe it has made me a stronger person with more admirable qualities.
EDIT: Dating is definitely not easier because guys still don’t ask me out. I’m assuming they still see the fat me because I’m still completely ignored in school still (senior year with the same kids). Then again… I’m awkward as fuck so maybe that’s why.
In case anyone wants to see the change
I was fugly enough to be among the half dozen or so outcasts at my school. My unsightlyness made it impossible for me to even ride the bus. Scrawny, oversized head, crooked teeth, plastered in acne, swollen lips, hand-me-down clothes, and a bad home haircut kept me in lowly status from 7th grade until high school graduation.
Then after an Accutane ordeal, the acne began to dissolve. I got my braces off. Then I joined the military and got in shape, and finally able to build muscle in my early 20s. After completing my firefighting degree, I went to visit a friend in my hometown and ran into a few people I went to school with. They sort of recognized me but were in disbelief. I got a lot of satisfaction by utterly ignoring a girl who was attempting to flirt with me since she was a cold-hearted bitch in high school.
TL;DR Life is better overall. I still have the “ugly” kid confidence level at times though. And yes, people are effin shallow.
My weight fluctuates. I’ve noticed one thing that goes against what you’d expect. When I’m closer to what is typically considered attractive, there’s pressure. When I was distance running, for example, I weighed 125 pounds at 5’10″ and was all bones except for my butt and thighs. I got so many unwarranted, unwanted comments about how I might go about losing that, about how I’d be hot if I could lose it, and even about how it’s such a shame I have some extra meat back there. I was running 100 miles a week and was happy but there was all this focus, and expectation that I’d be disappointed in my butt. I also got comments if I didn’t fix my hair or wear makeup or just wanted to do my shopping in sweats. It’s like if you’re a female who is close to being attractive and falls short either by one physical “flaw” or by failing to have immaculate grooming, you’re a huge disappointment to people who feel as though you owe them prettiness. I’m not even very good looking. I have a horse face that sometimes looks all right at certain angles. But when I was thinner, I was treated as though I was a failure because I fell just outside of the common standards of beauty.
As a fatter woman now, I exist outside of that. So far outside of that i may as well not exist at all. I get comments and rude treatment, yes, but at least nobody is demanding I put on nice clothes and makeup when I don’t want to so I meet their standards of what a pretty girl ought to be.
TL;DR – almost pretty girls and not pretty at all girls both take a lot of shit based on their appearance and I kind of prefer the lack of pressure that comes with existing further from the epicenter of what society considers hot. I’ll never experience what life as a truly magnificent specimen would be like.
At one point in 7th grade, I was maybe 5’6” and 220 lbs, and I mainly got through life with a sense of humor and having a personality. However, I picked up sports, and am now, as a college freshman, 6’1” and 190, with a pretty muscular build.
The biggest change is everything else. You notice girls pay you more attention, people compliment you, but you maintain the same mentality, you still see yourself the old way. As I got older though, looks didn’t even matter, maybe it was the girls I liked, but it seemed that every girl became less and less worried with looks and just cared for my personality. Looks are only really important for a first impression, sort of an introduction to you, and then people get to know you.
Could only find a picture from freshman year. http://imgur.com/GMT2v
Here’s now, I’m on the far right. http://imgur.com/7bdz5
YES. I’ve been waiting for this post. I’ll start out with a picture of what I looked like in middle school. Imgur I’m the fat ginger on the right. People were cruel to me. One day in 8th grade, a kid in class saw my tag sticking out of my size 12 pants and yelled it to the whole class. Everybody laughed at me, and I was so upset that I just stopped eating. I lost about 60 pounds over the summer, getting down to about average size for a freshman. I still considered myself to be obese, so I dropped out of the regular high school and attended an alternative school and continued to starve myself and lose weight. After high school, I was wearing size 2 jeans and rejecting at least 2 or 3 propositions from attractive men a day. All of a sudden, everything was incredibly easy for me. I didn’t understand what was going on, but everything was free. oil changes, cigarettes, anything. I could walk up to any guy I wanted and just say hello and he’d practically just throw his wallet at me. It was fun and exciting, but I couldn’t help but feel disgusted. It wasn’t just men either. I got treated nicer in stores, received job offers, offered more help in classes, etc. I see people that I knew in middle school and they don’t recognize me at all. Last year, I ran into the same kid that yelled my pants size to my class, and he asked me out on a date, forgetting completely who I was or what he had done to me. I politely declined.
I was a pretty ugly kid with acne, terrible fashion sense, and stick thin body who grew up to have a decent face, nice clothes, and killer curves. Now my awkwardness/stuttering is “endearing” and men are a lot more helpful with me. I think I have more self-confidence, I stand up straighter, which also makes me more approachable.
I am a guy who just lost 68lbs. I went from 230lbs to 163lbs. Things are definitely different. I’m a pretty good looking guy now, to be perfectly honest. I’m not a model or anything, but I’m a fairly good looking guy with an athletic build.
People in general are a lot nicer. If I go to the store to buy something and a woman is the clerk, she smiles at me. People ask me how I’m doing. People are a lot more likely to start a conversation with me.
As far as picking up women goes, it takes a lot more than losing weight and looking good to be comfortable escalating things with a woman. However, it’s so much easier to talk to women simply because I’m a billion times more confident. Women also talk to me a lot more now, too. But, this is a product of my confidence as much as it is my new looks.
I catch my female friends checking me out all the time. There are times when I feel like telling them that my eyes are on my head. Never before had I seen my female friends eyes wander like they do now. To be honest, it’s sort of embarrassing and makes me uncomfortable.
One of the best things is the way clothes fit. All the clothes I buy look good on me now, and I really don’t have to worry about going to the store and trying every single thing on to make sure I don’t hate it with a passion.
The best way I can describe it, is it seems like I’m living in a dream, or that I’m living the life of somebody else, especially because this has all happened very fast. I lost the weight in 6 months, almost to this very day. It can be very surreal.
From being ignored to getting a lot of attention but feeling like the person inside is still being ignored.
I was the ugly duckling who turned into a fairly attractive female with a killer figure. I’m glad people don’t pick on me for my appearance anymore, but having guys harass me when I wear something nice is just as irritating. I generally dress down and prefer to be average.
I’ve gone back and forth several times. When I looked my best, I was just as miserable as when I looked my worst. When I was looking my best, I made the mistake of going blonde.
It lasted a couple weeks. It got to the point I was afraid to leave the house. Men became so aggressively ‘friendly’ and I was constantly being approached. It made me edgy and nervous. Even good men had trouble just carrying on normal conversation, so I decided it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to spend my life primarily being desired and not being taken seriously as a person first.
I’ve found being slightly overweight but not unhealthy, as well as being not unpleasant to look at makes for the best life. I’m sure I’m going to get downvoted for the weight comment, but for me, its true.
I’ve become a shallower person.
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