19 Ways To Love Yourself
1. Draw a long, hot bath (even if this means waiting until you go back to your parents’ house for a visit where there is an actual bathtub), light a bunch of candles, get a glass of chilled white wine and a book. Enjoy that for as long as it continues to feel amazing, or at least your fingers don’t get too pruny.
2. Buy yourself some candles, including little cheapie tea candles. Scatter those things everywhere and watch your life immediately improve.
3. Get fresh-cut flowers every once in a while.
4. Whenever the weather is nice outside, make an effort to spend sometime in the sun — even if it’s only by an open window — and just look around for a while, enjoying how beautiful and fresh everything looks.
5. Go to a pet store and/or rescue shelter and say hello to all of the adorable animals you won’t be able to take home today are. You can also say hello to the fish, and possibly take one of them home.
6. Read a book from your childhood that you used to love, and remember all of the things about it that made you first fall in love with reading. Highlight your favorite parts, and maybe even make some of the quotes into art for your walls.
7. Draw. Even if you’re terrible. In fact, especially if you’re terrible.
8. Bring a little bag of bread down to the nearest body of water (if there is one within reasonable distance) and watch yourself become the Most Important Person Who Ever Lived when all of the ducks get wind of you and waddle over to become your new best friend. Get drunk off the power.
9. Get yourself a Rabbit, or Hitachi Magic Wand, or Lelo. I don’t care if you’re a murderer, you have earned it. Treat yourself.
10. Download and watch all of the terrible movies that you want to see as a huge guilty pleasure but no one wants to go see with you.
11. Look at all of the purchases made for your self-improvement as worthy investments, and not just another reason to beat yourself up about not having enough.
12. Make a really fancy sandwich on nice bread and bring it with you to work so that you have both a delicious and super-cheap meal waiting for you at your most down moment of the day.
13. Walk around a food market for an afternoon just taking everything in, buying one or two things if the mood strikes you but mostly focused on learning more about where your food comes from.
14. Order a pizza for no reason.
15. Spend an evening looking up skin and hair care regimens that can be made with easily-found kitchen items and trying them out on yourself. (Don’t beat yourself when you don’t end up looking as beautiful as the people in the tutorials.)
16. Listen to a musical soundtrack and sing along with every song at top volume.
17. Go to a vintage store and buy a piece of jewelry that is just so absurd/gaudy/over-the-top that it has to be worn with every item in your wardrobe.
18. Kiss someone on the first date and know that you are every bit as sexy as you feel.
19. Tell someone how you feel about them, especially if you have been letting it eat you inside out from anxiety for months on end. Write them a letter, if you have to, but get it out. If they don’t feel the same, go home and promptly refer to number nine for the rest of the evening. But feel better for having done it.
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In love, we show our true colors. With our loved ones, we show our true selves.
1. Women already have the right to vote.
I could no longer stand the Freudian irony of killing myself by tiny increments because of a numbing fear of death.
The expectations and hopes to live “like everyone else” that I feel as an adult is rooted in more than just a desire to measure up. It is also rooted in the need that I have felt since I was a child to live a normal and happy and controlled life.