25 Things They Should Have Taught Us In School
1. Keeping close track of your bank account and preparing a detailed buget is the most practical kind of math you will ever know.
2. People who have to leave your life for one reason or another do not automatically leave your social circle, geographic location, or local haunts. It is imperative to learn how to deal with them without making a mess of yourself as quickly as possible.
3. If you wear an amazing outfit and no one got to see it, you can wear it again, guilt-free.
4. Learning to cook basic meals for yourself instead of consistently relying on pre-made stuff is, beyond better for you health-wise, an extreme relief for your wallet.
4. There are going to be horrible roommates in your lifetime, and learning to extricate yourself from those living situations, a) gracefully and b) with security deposit intact, is an art everyone should practice.
5. If you don’t learn to fix minor problems — electrical, automotive, or otherwise — you are likely going to be exploited by people who know how to do them and want your money.
6. Shopping around for any big purchase is always the best decision, even if you fall head-over-heels for the first thing you see.
7. There is no reason to eat less than you actually want to eat while out to dinner because you want to impress someone or make them think you’re more dainty. They’re going to find out you eat entire large pizzas by yourself sometimes anyway.
8. Everyone wears their jeans at least five times before washing them, it’s perfectly okay and it doesn’t make you dirty.
9. Breaking up with someone is difficult and messy, but the best way to do it is always to be up-front and honest with them as soon as you know it’s over. Dragging it out may make it slightly less hard on you, but it makes it excruciating for the person you’re dumping.
10. Having a good handshake and a trustworthy smile will be one of your greatest professional assets. (In fact, there should have been a semester-long class in how to handle the first five minutes of any job interview.)
11. Learning how to do your own taxes is essential — even if you ultimately end up paying someone else to do them. You should always know what is happening to your money.
12. The differences between political parties are not always very clear, but there may be key issues to be tuned into that can change a lot, especially when you are voting in local elections.
13. Voting in local elections is important, in many ways more important than voting for the President.
14. Credit cards are almost never worth it, except in the rare instances they are necessary, in which case they should be used with extreme caution and attention to the fine print on the agreements.
15. A credit score is a thing, and you have to maintain it. And if you just accrue a bunch of debt in the early days of adulthood and are really bad about paying it off, it’s going to be terrible and take a lot of effort to fix.
16. Flossing is extremely important, arguably more so than brushing, and your dentist is going to be able to tell when you go and you’ve only actually flossed for approximately three days before your appointment.
17. There is nothing unhealthy, weird, or dirty about masturbating.
18. Everyone should have condoms at their disposal, and no one is a slut or gross for having them.
19. Traveling is very expensive, but there are many ways to make it less so. There are dozens of websites which will allow you to find cheap boarding, discount flights, transportation shares, and other people who speak your language.
20. The metric system is a thing you should be vaguely familiar with, even if you live in stubborn, standard America.
21. Borrowing and loaning money amongst friends is a very dangerous endeavor, and should only occur if there is a profound level of trust between the two parties. If you end up on weird terms with someone because of money problems, it was your own fault for agreeing in the first place.
22. Being on the lookout for good happy hours or specials at bars is an essential component of being an adult with an active social calendar, unless you are a secret millionaire who is happy paying 12 dollars for a cocktail.
23. There are some people who are going to need to get cut out of your life, and doing it for your own mental health doesn’t make you a bad person.
24. No one’s choice of career is inherently better or more deserving of respect than anyone else’s.
25. The only way to be sure you’re not going to get something you want is by never asking.
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It started with a right swipe, a little green heart. Tinder of course.
Though I acknowledge and appreciate the differences in human experiences, and while your heartbreak is (and always will be) uniquely and completely your own, I must urge you to consider that I have been where you are.
With his hat cocked back, body tilted away from his cane, and right forefinger pointing directly at his audience, Joseph Ducreux commands the attention of those viewing his self-portrait.
I was born in 1990; he was born in 1973. I’m 23; he just turned 40.