29 People Who Should Be Banished From Society

Nov. 29, 2012
Screen Shot 2014-03-04 at 11.08.32 AMChelsea Fagan is a writer living in Brooklyn. Want your articles on Thought Catalog? Send it here as a word document.

1. The person who takes a single fork out of a clean dishwasher and then closes it back up without putting the dishes away.

2. The person who eats your leftovers out of the refrigerator that you’ve been looking forward to all day.

3. The person who doesn’t leave a decent tip while dining out.

4. The person who requests a super-complicated drink when the bar is slammed and understaffed.

5. The person who doesn’t even offer to help pay on a date.

6. The person who asks to borrow a clothing item before you’ve even gotten a chance to wear it once.

7. The person who insists on having really loud sex all through the night, well within earshot of neighbors, despite hints that they need to settle it down.

8. The person who changes the song at a party every few minutes to some shitty band they like on YouTube.

9. The person who asks for a bite of your food and then eats, like, half of it.

10. The person who doesn’t hold the elevator door open for you when you’re running towards it.

11. The person who asks the teacher if there is any homework two seconds before the bell rings when she hasn’t mentioned anything about it.

12. The person who parks in a handicapped space “just for a few minutes.”

13. The person who doesn’t put their phone down when they get to the cash register to order something and acts like the cashier is interrupting their precious conversation.

14. The person who takes loud phone calls on public transportation.

15. The person who spends inordinate amounts of time in social situations bragging about their job/material possessions.

16. The person who gets really jealous and weird when anyone so much as looks at their significant other for too long.

17. The person who magically disappears when it’s time to start cleaning, whether at home or at work.

18. The person who comes empty-handed to a party and then proceeds to drink more than anyone.

19. The person who shows up to said party with several unannounced guests, who are also empty-handed.

20. The person who gets really angry/mean about their favorite sports teams.

21. The person who talks non-stop about the famous/semi-famous people that they know/met/were in the same club as.

22. The person who takes out their phone to text in a movie theater.

23. The person who brings a baby to a movie, especially an adult one, especially after 7 P.M.

24. The person who drives their extremely loud motorcycle through still, quiet streets in the middle of the night, making as much noise as humanly possible.

25. The person who posts spoilers without warnings on them.

26. The person who won’t dance at social gatherings where dancing would be expected because it is “gay.”

27. The person who goes to a party or event only to spend the entire time complaining about how much it sucks and they don’t want to be there.

28. The person who cuts in front of you in line and pretends like they don’t realize they’re doing it.

29. The person who feels the need to tell you how much they don’t enjoy something you enjoy. “I like this movie!” “Ugh, it’s terrible.” “I love Thai food.” “Eww, it’s gross.” “I love happiness and sunshine and the joy of small children.” “Lame.” TC mark

 

 

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