Everyone Enjoy These Mugshots Of Hot Guys
Have you ever wondered to yourself what happens when hot, primarily white, likely upper-middle-class bros get arrested (mostly for possession and petty theft)? Well, wonder no more — the novelty Tumblr Hot And Busted (which sounds far more vulgar than it actually is) has arrived to tend to all your schadenfreude needs. And it’s all the more fun, in fact, if you speculate their various sordid, bro-y backstories.
Assumedly pulled over between a championship lacrosse match and the taping for a cooking show about Jungle Juice, Charming Bro displays the finest in athletic haircut, glassy-eyed stare, and smile that says “My dad’s lawyer wins cases like these for breakfast.”
Sad Bro is sad. He is not going to have access to hair product, a decent selection of black hoodies, or his long-term girlfriend in the slammer. Sad Bro reflects on his misdeeds.
Okay, so we can only speculate that Shirtless Bro was detained mid-Abercrombie photo shoot, and was doing something so pressing as to make the application of clothing a formality not worth the extra time.
It is only fair to assume that Polo Bro had his collar popped upon arrest, but decided that, given the generally somber tone of the whole “going to jail” affair, a turned-down collar was much more appropriate and respectful law enforcement.
Corporate Bro, aside from looking as though he’s representing himself legally, teaches us that a mugshot is no time to slack on our Brooks Brothers chic. Also, we’re assuming his name is Patrick Bateman.
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I mean, our grocery store doesn’t even label their herbs. They just have a refrigerated bevy of little green plastic-wrapped baggies. Can’t tell the difference between fresh cilantro and fresh parsley? Too bad, you fucking troglodyte.
Not a morning person? Make breakfast in advance and stick it in the fridge for easy grab-n-go morning sustenance. But if you do this, think frittata over fried egg. Trust me on this one.
This was a song that went viral back in 2002 and pretty much sums up my personal 90s teenybopper era.
In 2005 my father went to the doctor complaining of chest pain. The doctor assured him it was heartburn and sent him home with Tums and no further testing. My father came home and died of a heart attack later that day.