Once we’ve mastered the inch high hover, we can move another inch off the ground, then another, and keep raising the hovering car until a child of about eight or nine can walk under it. Oh what a utopia it will be! No longer will potholes and speed bumps impede our driving. No longer will kids chasing balls or dogs chasing kids chasing balls be hit by cars.
Within a few hours there were streams of ants heading to the various trays I laid out, even the Raid traps, which made me think they initially showed up for the Terro traps, but finding a huge line, decided to take their business elsewhere. It’s like Pat’s and Gino’s in Philadelphia.
The aisles of grocery stores are filled with them, some thicker than others, some with patterns, and some sold in packs of two or four or six, but never three, never three. Why the other day I saw something called “Choose-A-Size” paper towels! Choose-A-Size! I spit out my drink, dropped seven monocles, and fainted (which didn’t hurt, as I fell against the paper towels).
When I think about it, sex is really the only time I’ve ever heard my neighbors. It bothers me that I don’t hear other things, like baking. I’d love to hear baking! Let’s get some eclectic sounds on this apartment mix tape. Maybe some sex, some baking, a vuvuzela, just to shake things up a little.
Pumpkins have been riding the coattails of pumpkin pie for years. It is everyone’s first and only defense of the pumpkin. I put it to you sir or madam that you do not like pumpkin pie as much as you think you do. Have you ever eaten it without ice cream? Ice cream is quite the crutch for pumpkin pie, because the great pies – cherry, lemon meringue, and humble pie – don’t need ice cream to carry them over the finish line.
A lot of emotions will run through your mind. Is this is a joke? Will the interviewer be cute? How much will they pay me, and how much will they pay me off if I threaten to spill company secrets? Don’t respond with any of these questions.
Many are wondering whether the DVD vending machine will be up to the task, but CEO Paul Davis has no such worries. “The Redbox kiosk has bright graphics, a touch screen display, and a broad selection of titles. That’s a lot of talent.”
I don’t know about you, but the New Year’s resolution I make most often while watching the fireworks is that I need to watch more fireworks. They are so absorbing that I completely ignore whoever I’m standing with, and if someone even dares to talk to me, I simply mutter, “Please, shut up.”
You know that friend of yours who wants to tell you about a new movie, and you ask them not to, but they insist what they’re describing isn’t important to the plot, even though it’s a shot by shot description of the ending? Do you have a friend like that?
What was this magical phrase? What did it mean? How could I, a simple man, harness its great power?