June 10, 2013

19 Reasons To Avoid Relationships In Your 20s

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What is the issue?

1. There are barely any jobs to begin with, so you have to focus as much as possible on a career to make yourself competitive today (because if you’re not doing it, someone else will). If it means working unpaid internships during the day and server jobs in the evening, there is no need to complicate your already non-existent schedule with a relationship.

2. This is the time where you are most free to travel the world, if that’s what you want to do, and it’s going to be pretty strenuous on any relationship to remain together while one person goes and does it all and the other one stays at home. (Unless you can travel together, but that seems pretty financially impossible.)

3. A lot of your decisions are still very selfish, and you haven’t fully cut yourself off from occasionally needing your parents’ help for things. You feel like too much of a child to fully dedicate yourself to something more serious. Most of the people you’re going to meet aren’t going to be ready for something long-term, or at least not able to offer the kind of stability that a real life together would provide. It’s best to keep things light so that no one has to break it off when they realize they are not in a position to build a real future.

4. Let’s be honest, no one can afford a wedding anyway.

5. You are still in that phase where you’re really into sex but you can only deal with so much post-coital spooning before you’re like, “Please leave, I want to watch Netflix and eat food by myself.”

6. As all of your friends are moving into new phases and locations in their lives, it is hard enough just remaining in close contact with them — if you add into the mix having a serious significant other that you have to take care of, you can almost guarantee that you’ll sacrifice a lot of friendships for time.

7. The best part of your day is often the moment when you can come home and just be totally alone to do what you want. Having someone there who expects your attention all the time is just not really feasible when you think about it.

8. You can’t even take care of a plant, to be honest.

9. It’s the summer and you have that feeling that the thing you want most in life right now is total autonomy, because every time someone calls you with something new to do or somewhere to go, every cell in your body wants to say “Yes!” You don’t want to have to check with anyone first.

10. You don’t know who you’re going to be in two years — your career isn’t settled, you might want to move again, and you are constantly being exposed to new social groups — so there is little guarantee that the person you are when you start a relationship is going to still be interested in that same relationship just a few years from now.

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11. A lot of your previous relationships have ended because one of you felt stifled by the responsibility that comes with commitment, and you don’t feel like you’ve matured past the point of needing that freedom.

12. No one has AC right now, and that is an essential for lazy days spent cuddling inside.

13. You haven’t fully discovered yourself sexually, and you don’t want to get into a serious relationship with someone until you are sure that you know exactly what it takes you make you feel good in bed. You have gone through entire relationships without having a real orgasm, and you can’t afford to repeat that.

14. Even though you don’t like to admit it, you know that there are a lot of promises you have broken to yourself and to other people because you needed to do what was important for you to grow up and decide your own path. You have changed your mind a lot, and it didn’t always happen at the best time. You don’t want to break someone’s heart by having to leave them behind when they can’t follow you.

15. You are attracted to so many people right now, you’re not even sure what your “type” is anymore.

16. One of the most important things in your life is being independent — financially and emotionally — and you want to dedicate as much energy as possible to achieving that. You want the time when your big, serious relationship comes around to be a time where you don’t have to depend on anyone.

17. You are still working on what it means to really love your friends, and family, and show them the kind of affection that they merit in your life. You aren’t really sure how to do this with someone romantically just yet, and you know that you have other relationships to work on first.

18. One of your worst qualities is your impatience. When you’re seeing someone, you often want to rush into things because you just can’t wait to let them develop slowly. And that often ends up ruining them. You want to be able to walk into things step by step, and not just dive into the deep end every time, and you can’t really do that with anything in life right now.

19. When you picture the version of you who is happily settled down, they are someone who has a good amount of years of achievement behind them. And right now, you haven’t had the time to achieve much of anything. TC mark

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