Thought Catalog
March 11, 2011

15 Things Not to Mention on Your Kickstarter Page

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What is the issue?

Kickstarter has proven to be a promising tool for those looking to get funding for their creative projects. Just be sure to avoid mentioning the following when you create your project page:

  1. “The working title of my new memoir is ‘Rape, Rape and Just a Touch of Rape: How I Raped My Way to Financial Mega-Success.’”
  2. “Bottom line: I will do anything for $20.”
  3. “I am fairly confident that, once I raise enough money to get these calf implants, I’ll be ready to open my small organic bakery.”
  4. “I require pledges of various monetary donations with which I shall finance my ‘creative project’ involving art, comics, dance, fashion, film, food, games, music, photography, technology and/or theater.”
  5. “I’m an old friend of your dad’s, and he said that if I ever got into trouble I could count on you for help.”
  6. “If my project gets funded, it will be the first time anyone has ever reenacted the Rwanda genocide using the fresh corpses of purebred Friesian Sporthorses!”
  7. “Pledge $1 or more and I’ll send you an autographed collection of my ‘Top Chef’ graphic adult fanfiction (NSFW).”
  8. “ZOMG I’M GOING TO MAKE LIKE THE BEST COFFEE TABLE BOOK OF FOOT PHOTOGRAPHY EVER!!!”
  9. “Honestly, I just need enough money so that I don’t have to worry about anything, ever again.”
  10. “Our album is going to sound kind of like Radiohead, but way funkier and with only conga drums.”
  11. “Pledge $5,000 and I’ll send you a copy of my latest book, ‘Decision Points.’”
  12. “If you do not have a PayPal account, I also accept pledges in the form of black tar heroin.”
  13. “Our communal kitchen would promote food literacy, economic sustainability and the purity of the Aryan race.”
  14. “Pledge $100, and I’ll let you squeeze one of my new calf implants.”
  15. “Anyone have any good ideas for what kind of project I should start?” TC mark

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