Thought Catalog
April 16, 2013

The 69 Greatest Quotes About Sex

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What is the issue?
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. Marilyn Monroe
A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. Gloria Steinem
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good. Woody Allen
In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. Nora Ephron
I like threesomes with two women, not because I’m a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I’m a romantic. I’m looking for “The One.” And I’ll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time. Russell Brand
Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets. Andy Warhol
I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life. Mitch Hedberg
Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly supporting their own superiority. Mary Wollstonecraft
To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth — I count that something of a miracle. Henry Miller
Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual? Sue Johanson
If you’re going to have sex, use a condom. Dennis Rodman
Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex. Havelock Ellis
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer. Swami X
I remember the first time I had sex — I kept the receipt. Groucho Marx
Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other. Marquis de Sade
There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. Elton John
I am always looking for meaningful one night stands. Dudley Moore
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson
If you’re having your period, come on over. I’m 41. I’ll fuck the shit out of you. I’ll drink the blood. Let’s party. Louis C.K.
Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. Oscar Wilde
Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions. Deepak Chopra
Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk — real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious. Jack Kerouac
The way you make love is the way God will be with you. Rumi
I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting. Angelina Jolie
Publishing a sophisticated men’s magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I’d been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot. Hugh Hefner
The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined. Homer
The anthropologist Margaret Mead concluded in 1948, after observing seven different ethnic groups in the Pacific Islands, that different cultures made different forms of female sexual experience seem normal and desirable. The capacity for orgasm in women, she found, is a learned response, which a given culture can help or can fail to help its women to develop. Naomi Wolf
So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. She taught him that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other, without being conquered or having conquered, so that neither is bleak or glutted or has the bad feeling of being used or misused. Herman Hesse
Copulation is no more foul to me than death is. Walt Whitman
Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women. Rita Mae Brown
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die. Eugene Mirman
Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus. Garrison Keillor
Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me a good round of sex might be seven minutes. Skiing you can do for seven hours. Spalding Gray
The only deep emotion I occasionally felt in these affairs was gratitude, when all was going well and I was left, not only peace, but freedom to come and go — never kinder and gayer with one woman than when I had just left another’s bed, as if I extended to all others the debt I had just contracted toward one of them. Albert Camus
I would rather have a cup of tea than sex. Boy George
If I’m not interested in a woman, I’m straight-forward. Right after sex, I usually say, “I can’t do this anymore. Thanks for coming over!” Vince Vaughn
Everything is about sex, and that’s fine for me. I’m not saying I don’t like it. But I don’t think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there’s just no innocence left. Ellen DeGeneres
The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform. Alfred Kinsey
Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. Bill Maher
Sex is great until you die, but it’s never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery. David Duchovny
It’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up whom. Joan Rivers
I am not saying renounce sex, I am saying transform it. It need not remain just biological: bring some spirituality to it. While making love, meditate too. While making love, be prayerful. Love should not be just a physical act; pour your soul into it. Osho
We demand that sex speak the truth […] and we demand that it tell us our truth, or rather, the deeply buried truth of that truth about ourselves wich we think we possess in our immediate consciousness. Michel Foucault
Later I would come to believe that erotic ties were all a spell, a temporary psychosis, even a kind of violence, or at least they coexisted with these states. Lorrie Moore
If you want romance, fuck a journalist. W.H. Auden
Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they’re taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it’s normal to kneel down to a naked man who’s nailed to a cross? It’s like a bad leather bar. John Waters
The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer. Marcus Aurelius
Carnal embrace is sexual congress, which is the insertion of the male genital organ into the female genital organ for purposes of procreation and pleasure. Fermat’s last theorem, by contrast, asserts that when x, y and z are whole numbers each raised to power of n, the sum of the first two can never equal the third when n is greater than 2. Tom Stoppard
It was she made me acquainted with love. She went by the peaceful name of Ruth I think, but I can’t say for certain. Perhaps the name was Edith. She had a hole between her legs, oh not the bunghole I had always imagined, but a slit, and in this I put, or rather she put, my so-called virile member, not without difficulty, and I toiled and moiled until I discharged or gave up trying or was begged by her to stop. A mug’s game in my opinion and tiring on top of that, in the long run. But I lent myself to it with a good enough grace, knowing it was love, for she had told me so. She bent over the couch, because of her rheumatism, and in I went from behind. It was the only position she could bear, because of her lumbago. It seemed all right to me, for I had seen dogs, and I was astonished when she confided that you could go about it differently. I wonder what she meant exactly. Perhaps after all she put me in her rectum. A matter of complete indifference to me, I needn’t tell you. But is it true love, in the rectum? Samuel Beckett
I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world. Jeanette Winterston
Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier. James Joyce
No, I am not interested in women or sex or anything. Jonny Greenwood
There’s no sex in Middle Earth. Ian McKellen
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. Cary Grant
I have always been principally interested in men for sex. I’ve always thought any sane woman would be a lover of women because loving men is such a mess. I have always wished I’d fall in love with a woman. Damn. Germaine Greer
My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. Sex and the City changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people. Lindsay Lohan
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. Frank Zappa
But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about. Gabriel García Márquez
Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace. Roberto Bolaño
I went to Catholic school and they basically just said don’t have sex, but would never explain anything. Khloe Kardashian
You can’t talk about fucking in America, people say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool. Richard Pryor
I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults. Gore Vidal
A man is basically as faithful as his options. Chris Rock
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal
There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain. Audrey Hepburn
Fuck! Is one expected to be a gentleman when one is stiff? Marquis de Sade
Don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love. Woody Allen
Sex is a problem because it would seem that in that act there is complete absence of the self. In that moment you are happy because there is the cessation of self-consciousness, of the ‘me’; and desiring more of it – more of the abnegation of the self in which there is complete happiness, without the past or the future, demanding that complete happiness through full fusion, integration – naturally it becomes all-important. Isn’t that so? Because it is something that gives me unadulterated joy, complete self-forgetfulness, I want more and more of it. Now, why do I want more of it? Because, everywhere else I am in conflict, everywhere else, at all the different levels of existence, there is the strengthening of the self. Economically, socially, religiously, there is the constant thickening of self-consciousness, which is conflict. After all, you are self-conscious only when there is conflict. Self-consciousness is in its very nature the result of conflict. So, everywhere else we are in conflict. In all our relationships with property, with people, and with ideas there is conflict, pain, struggle, misery; but in this one act there is complete cessation of all that. Naturally you want more of it because it gives you happiness, while all the rest leads you to misery, turmoil, conflict, confusion, antagonism, worry, destruction; therefore, the sexual act becomes all-significant, all-important. Jiddu Krishnamurti
Flesh robot with cold thighs and fingers of icicle gripping the wheel of the black car, everything is forgotten. It is no use telling me of her inadequacy, her limitations; no good saying her mouth is an ash tray crammed with the butts of reserve, funk, truism, revulsion. I admit it. I admit everything with a great grin of snow. But it is no use. If I can find her moist and open between two sheets anywhere among the seven winds, you can have everything that lives and agonizes between the twin poles. Seriously. I switch off the dashboard and let my soul ride out on to the dark, floating and quivering on the frosty air above the black car; my personality has been snipped from my body now, as if by scissors, to ride along the night wind against any cold star. Everything flows out of me in a long effortless catharsis, pours on to the darkness, licked by the airs. This is the meaning of freedom. My money has poured out of my pockets, my clothes fallen from me, every bit of tissue sloughed. Everything is clear in this struggle to reach her. The car humming like a top, stammering, banging round corners with its insane fixed eyes; the carpet of light racing along the dark arterial roads; the distance being patiently consumed. I am in a kind of fanatical imagery now, unreal, moving through this aquarium of feelings, conscious of nothing but the blood thinning in my veins, and the slow fearful heart. Lawrence Durrell
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