June 5, 2013

What Ur Emojis Say About U

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What is the issue?

I don’t always have the right word for things. Actually, I rarely have the right word for things. Sometimes though, there are no words for things. But thankfully, the universe recognizes this problem. Our grandparents and parents struggled with fitting round pegs into square holes when they tried to use language to express themselves. But herein lies the beauty of our generation: we don’t have to! Thank fuck we have emojis to express what language often can’t.

We are entering an era where traditional forms of communication are quickly vanishing. So long, verbs! See ya later, nouns! Say hello to the six categories of expression you need to know about. There is !?#, car, bell, flower, face, and recently used. These are the categories of words that dominate modern communication—the champions of the contemporary lexicon. The words we choose to use, just like the emoji we use, can be very telling; often standing in place of the things we find difficult to express.

emoji_screengrab

The most important emoji, the ones that have been used in their beta versions since computers were invented, are emoticons. Emotions are difficult to convey, and no word expresses them as well as some emojis can. However, the expressions you do choose to use emojis for can be very interesting.

I don’t believe in signs of the zodiac, however if you’re a Taurus and you read what a Taurus should be, and agree that these characteristics suit…Then you’re in the right place, you’ll probably find that the forecasts are quite helpful. But I think of astrology as helpful advice for people with one of 12 personality types. Based on the Zodiac symbols, these are your six emoji star signs.

If your emojis are emotional extremes, emoji_1 then it naturally follows that you are an enthusiastic and adventurous soul, with a secret desire to lead… You are the embodiment of YOLO, just how you like it. Well done. Good on you. Check out the Emaries forecast.

If your emojis include things like: emoji_2 you’re a cool cat, you always talk to people at parties and people celebrate when you walk in; but as those who’ve seen your Recently Used will know, you only let people get so close. You mysterious Tauroji you.

If your emoji’s are diverse, ranging from shrimp to corn: emoji_3 then you are a mentally intense, multi-genre, multi-faceted, Emojiini. You’re probably a little bit weird, and don’t get bogged down in anything specific. Keep your fingers in all those pies.

If your recently used is incredibly consistent from week to week, and you feature an abnormal amount of gooey shit, emoji_4 then you are a Liboji. You secretly want an easy, uncomplicated life and you are the most common emoji star sign. Keep up the ordinary work!

If you have a lot of boring, non-offensive and highly positive emoji, like emoji_5 then I’d say you’re a Virgoji. You just want to do the right thing, don’t you?!

If you’re always trying to use emojis better then everyone else, and you are determined to use the most unusable emoji’s on the system emoji_6 then you’re a Scorpoji for sure. You just want to triumph. And you’ve succeeded.

If you don’t use emoji… I highly recommend it. Go home. Get comfortable. Download it. And delve into your inner being. TC mark

image – Robert Nelson
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