1. Accept that you can’t please everybody, and then decide which select few opinions and feelings you value enough to try and satisfy.
2. Recognize that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Perhaps the grass you’re standing on just needs a little watering — it’s not necessarily where you’re at, so much as what you do there.
3. Don’t spend too much time on Instagram trying to decide if Hudson or Amaro is the more aesthetically pleasing effect on your picture.
4. Enjoy your journeys. Many times, the trip there is more gratifying than the arrival.
5. Make certain that you have some real friends who will tell you if you’re screwing up, regardless of whether you want to hear or not. “Yes men” will have you believing your sh-t don’t stink, but rest assured — it does.
6. Don’t allow your mood to be directly linked to your bank account balance.
7. Live as if you’re not going to make it to thirty. Too often we dread the big 3-0 instead of being grateful for the days we have now, and recognizing how fortunate we’d be to make it that far into the future.
8. If you get a text out of the blue that reads something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been a long time” during the month of February, don’t answer. He/She just wants a Valentine.
9. If you get a text out of the blue that reads something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been a long time” during the month of April, don’t answer. He/She just wants some of that tax return.
10. Don’t confuse the people who are often present with the people who are always there.
11. Make a legitimate effort to have too good of a time today to worry about tomorrow.
12. Remember that the answer to every question you don’t ask is ‘no,’ and start asking more often — no matter the context.
13. If your cable/satellite bill is $20 away from being a car payment, get the basic package. You don’t need that many channels. Take advantage of Hulu, Netflix, and illegal downloading.
14. Skip Black Friday, take advantage of Cyber Monday.
15. Try to keep in mind that while all good things must come to an end, so must the bad.
16. When eating finger foods, use the hell out of your dipping sauce, and don’t be bashful. It’s much better to be out of BBQ sauce and have chicken nuggets than vice versa.
17. Whether it’s big or small, always have something to look forward to. It’s essential to help you get through things.
18. If the world doesn’t end in 2012, make plans to kill it in 2013.
19. Buy sunglasses, Tylenol and Gatorade in advance when you know you’re going to get hammered.
20. If you have to contact a girl/guy first every-single-time, take the hint, cut the ties and keep it moving.
21. If you have to eat Top Ramen for monetary purposes, do so with the genuine belief that finances and cuisine quality will improve.
22. If you don’t have to eat Top Ramen, do it anyway to keep yourself humbled.
23. Spend more money on experiences and less on material things. (e.g. trip to Las Vegas takes precedence over new iPod.)
24. When you go to Vegas, take a minimum of three years off of your life with your actions.
25. Avoid reading comment sections on the internet, especially if you’re sensitive. You’ll lose all hope for civilization.
26. Avoid physical altercations at all costs. We’re too old for fighting — use your words. This isn’t grade school where rasslin’ got you sent to the principal’s office, you risk going to jail or worse.
27. Learn how to grocery shop if you want to be a real grown up. Only some store-brand products are acceptable to purchase — cheese isn’t one of them.
28. Lay off the current generation of teens. Yeah, they do a lot of annoying, preposterous, ridiculous sh-t, but so did we at that age.
29. Save money whenever it’s possible, because as soon as you think you’re ahead money-wise, something expensive will break.
30. Always listen and ruminate, but never make important decisions based off of advice from someone who isn’t going to have to face the consequences.