September 22, 2016

I’m Not Angry Anymore, I’m Letting You Go

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 Aidan Meyer
Aidan Meyer

I have been so angry with you for the longest time, but its time to let it go.

I don’t want to feel angry anymore, I’m tired of the negativity and the pain that you have inflicted on me. I never told you any of this because I loved you. It has never been easy to say it right to your face, because you make me feel like nothing matters in this world anymore but now and after everything, I really need to let it go.

For the longest time, you make me feel like I am not worth it anymore. I am not worth it to be the guy that you should be with and that our time together was meaningless. I was so confused because one day, you told me that you loved me, but the next time you just threw me out like I am a nobody. I was so frustrated that in just a week that we ended things you told me that you started dating again. It made me question my sanity. You said sorry, but “sorry” is pointless, when nothing has changed. I cried so much that there were no more tears left. It was just painful.

I tried to let it go. But you kept coming back seeking comfort.

I let you in, but I never got anything in return. I have been hurt too many times that I was not able to see what is right and wrong.

We have yelled at each other back and forth. We cried all night, and finally there are no words left. At the end of the day, I finally realized that I needed to start over again. I need to see myself for who I am, not what I should be for you. I was so angry, but I think my anger has reached its limit and its time to let everything go.

I need to let go of the good and the bad in order to be okay again. It’s been a long journey. I feel like looking back, I can smile again. Even though, it’s a different feeling now. I don’t think of you the first thing in the morning anymore. I still think of you from time to time but less everyday. I never ask for anything from you anymore, and you should never ask anything from me again.

I know that I am worth it now. For anyone who has been through relationships, my only word of advice is to “let time do the healing”.

Everyone deserves time to heal, and do not let anyone tell you that there is a time limit for you to heal, because only you understand when to know to be okay again. TC mark

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