50 Thoughts You Have While Watching ‘Scandal’

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1. Fitz is so attractive.
2. Where did Olivia get that coat?
3. How does Olivia have time to shop for all these cute outfits?
4. Where is Quinn?
5. Huck and Quinn are destined to get married.
6. That was awkward.
7. BUT HE IS MARRIED!
8. Am I the only one who remembers that he is married?
9. I can’t look!
10. Now I need to check Twitter to see what happened.
11. Seriously Olivia, he is married.
12. This mom is a straight weirdo.
13. Wow no wonder she sleeps with married men, her dad is a freak too.
14. Cyrus is an asshole.
15. No Cyrus! Stop being an asshole!
16. How did Cyrus get his husband anyway? He’s like way younger and way more attractive.
17. Do they not have cameras in the oval office?
18. Did nobody notice the president has a drinking problem?
19. Millie is a terrible person.
20. I don’t know if I want the president to cheat on Mellie though.
21. On a scale of one to satan, how terrible do I think Mellie is?
22. Still not terrible enough for someone to cheat on her.
23. More wine.
24. Olivia just keeps drinking that wine.
25. Here is the president at her apartment again.
26. I assume this is where they will have sex for the millionth time.
27. Secret service is like right outside that door as the president has sex again.
28. Doesn’t he have like actual world problems to solve?
29. Perhaps he could solve world hunger?
30. Where does he find all of this time for joy riding around with the secret service?
31. Really though, where is Quinn?
32. I hope she isn’t kidnapping again.
33. I also hope that Huck isn’t pulling her teeth out though.
34. Maybe she’s at home quietly regretting what she has done.
35. I hope she becomes normal again and her and Huck just date and have babies.
36. But this vice president though, she is a loon.
37. Satan took over her body?
38. I guess that is how vice presidents justify murders!
39. Cyrus why are you helping this loon?
40. I can’t handle the emotions.
41. This is too much.
42. Maybe I shouldn’t watch anymore.
43. JK. I know that’s not going to happen.
44. Oh this is getting intense.
45. …..And it’s over.
46. I can’t believe it is over.
47. I feel like this episode just started.
48. Another cliffhanger for next week.
49. Shonda Rhimes needs to stop toying with my emotions.
50. …. So what do I do now?