Thought Catalog
June 13, 2017

Instead Of Seeking Revenge, Be The Bigger Person

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What is the issue?
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You’ve been hurt by someone you thought didn’t have it in them.

You try incredibly hard to deal with it all without being petty and seeking the lowest blow you know you can doctor up.

Maybe you got cheated on, maybe you discovered that your idea of this exclusive relationship was vastly contradictory to theirs, or maybe a best friend decided to turn their back on you when you never even saw it coming.

Being the bigger person when you’re the one who seems to be suffering the most may look as if it’s seemingly impossible, but it’s not.

It doesn’t matter what it was that caused you to feel torn between wanting this particular person to feel a similar pain as you and having trust that life will play out as it should for them.t

You’re hurting, an unexplainable amount, and it’s a tough call for which move seems best.

Your friends try to tell you to take the high road and that you’re “better than that,” and as much as you try to listen and abide by their sound advice, you still have to fight back the urge to seek, as harsh as the term sounds, revenge.

You see, that’s exactly what happens when you decide to play by their rules, you are seeking a vengeance towards someone who is not even worthy enough to receive it.

Why does the classiest way of going about things feel like the road less traveled upon? Because it is.

Why didn’t others who have tried this before write a massive how-to about all its payoffs to help make your decision a no-brainer? Because there’s no such thing as a similar circumstance when it comes to feeling another’s betrayal.

Why, of all people, are you the one that needs to make a hard decision to either sink as low as they did or swim above the hurt that seems like it’s following you? Because you are someone that’s strong enough to overcome it.

Being the bigger person doesn’t make you seem kind, it actually makes you someone who decided taking the “high road” wasn’t about playing nice or doing them a favor. It was about you.

Initially, you fear that being the bigger person, like the massively bigger one in this case, could make you come off as being weak, hiding from the reality of all.

No, it does not do that. As much as having a voice can be a great thing, your silence is, hands down, the greatest “peace of mind” you could ever give them.

In fact, your silence is so admirable, so unbelievably strong that they certainly won’t be the only one who notices it. Your silence doesn’t mean you lack a backbone. It doesn’t mean that you got over it because you didn’t really care.

Your silence is worthy enough of the greatest applause, drawing in a crowd so large that even those who try to ignore it can’t.

Eventually, deciding not to allow your revenge-seeking ways to wreak havoc on their life will pay off so much more than any temporary satisfaction of attempting to hurt them ever would.

You are meant to take in all the things, good and bad, that have happened to you, and use them to your advantage.

Taking the road less traveled speaks real volumes about your character, and you don’t even have to invest real time or energy in order to so.

You will never not endure hardships in life. This will not be the last person to ever hurt you, and sometimes, you’ll even be the giver, rather than receiver, of pain to someone you love.

But your revenge won’t help you, and most likely, it will just help whoever made you feel this way justify their actions.

By all means, don’t let this pain and hardship turn you into someone you inherently are not. Don’t let someone guide you towards selfish, hateful words or actions.

They didn’t chose the same path as you because they are not the same, genuine soul that you are.They didn’t and may never have the capacity to seek the elegant, more difficult route.

Find the real blessing in disguise from all this pain: you. TC mark