There Is No Place For Comfort Where There Is Love

By Caroline Maughon

I thought that I was in love once.
I think I confused love with intimacy.
I confused love with lust.
I think I confused love with comfortability.

They say love is a drug
He was my bad habit.
No matter how much you want to give up a bad habit,
It’s near impossible. For the sole reason that those habits are what make us feel comfortable. Safe. Reassured. They dull the anxiety.

He was my bad habit.
Was.

But now, I’m not sure how love should feel.
I could be missing it.
I could have it and not even realize it.
They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. That’s one of my biggest fears.
What if I meet the love of my life, but I don’t know it Cause I don’t feel love.
I don’t recognize it.

What if I don’t recognize my one true love.
What if.

Maybe we only find love once
because once our hearts have been broken we’re never sure what love really is.
We aren’t sure what love feels like
because we doubt that we ever had it.
When you lose a love, you’re vulnerable. Not just to them, but to yourself.
Hurt merges with fear.
We fear that we will never feel the same love Not like the love we felt before.

Which we won’t.
No two loves could ever be the same. Knowing that, you have to let go of this fear. You have to let go of this fear.
Let go.

I want to fall in love again so badly.
But I also want to be sure.

And love and assuredness never go hand in hand.

That my friends, is the great plothole of life.

You’ve gotta have faith.
Hope.
Without these you’ll never find love.
True love, that is.

Today I’m determined.
Inspired.
Floating with the help of some pixie dust.

I’ve found my faith,
I have hope.
I will find love again.

I will meet my true love.
I will.

Love and assuredness never go hand in hand, I said.
Don’t confuse assurance and confidence.
Don’t mix it up with hope or faith.

I will meet my true love because I believe it.

Not because I’m sure of it.

Love and assuredness never go hand in hand.