November 30, 2016

45 One-Sentence Phrases That Will Ensure There Is NEVER A Second Date

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1. “You looked prettier online.”

— RandomTaliyahMain

2. “Glad to see that we are both doing movember this year..”

— Nosaij

3. “Sorry I’m late, my mom wouldn’t get off her ass to iron my shirt.”

— cajundharma

4. “This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but I swear its not…”

— Kehgals

5. “Your perfume smells like my wife’s.”

— trulime

6. “What were you doing at 11:16 in the building on 275 west street today? You usually don’t go there.”

— RvH98

7. “The words ‘I love you.'”

— positive_life

8. “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”

— MrPope266

9. “I can’t wait to watch you sleep.”

— BrutalFuckingTruth

10. “Just salad? If you think you’re fat it’s okay. You’re not.”

— ucantsimee

11. “I can’t drink tonight because I’m pregnant.”

— Sadiewal

12. “I’m a little short do you mind paying for this one?”

— kidocosmic

13. “You look like my mom”

— Theavenger2140

14. “Have you taken Jesus into your life?”

— TheDeadDocc

15. “I’m legally required to tell you…”

— aaaaaaaarrrrrgh

16. “Do you have names for our children yet?”

— darkbee83

17. “You look fat in that dress.”

— sarahravenclaw

18. “My nan has the same dress as you.”

— sarahravenclaw

19. “Would you consider donating one of your kidneys to someone you were dating, Hypothetically speaking, that is?”

— yes_its_him

20. “If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.”

— FilthyBoobs

21. “Don’t tell my mom.”

— Ryksytiryy

22. “Hey, let’s not drive there I can’t go 15 feet near the playground.”

— Ryksytiryy

23. “I understand women are genetically programmed to want to be provided for.”

— singularpotato

24. “I still love my ex.”

— Nikadas

25. “So how do you feel about kids?”

— iokheira

26. “I don’t like black guys.”

— Gundam336

27. “I’m clean down there.”

— SixSexySockPuppets

28. “You smell exactly like my dying grandfather.”

— withaburningviolin

29. “The simple fact is, it’s not offensive and it’s not ‘assault’. Every woman WANTS to have their pussy grabbed. If they didn’t, they would let you know they were a lesbian.”

— TIFUbyResponding

30. “You’re okay to order off the kids menu right?”

— tabalew

31. “I never shower.”

— 13thStrike

32. “So thats why you only had face pics.”

— Gentzzz

33. “All my exes were crazy, not me! I hate drama sooo much!!”

— m00tles

34. “So, how would you feel about dating a felon”

— Drunk_Grandpa

35. “You mind if my mom joins us?”

— robodwarf22

36. “I don’t think we should teach History.”

— Jayhawkfl

37. “You have good birthing hips. How many children are we going to have?”

— heat_it_and_beat_it

38. “Aww, you’re so much like my ex!”

— LadyEvadne

39. “Excuse me, do you have a vegan-friendly menu?”

— THERAINBOWMUFFIN

40. “I’m not racist but…”

— Galaxy9856

41. “And that’s why I always have a giant black dildo sword in my trunk.”

— NickSkye

42. “When I was ten my dad got me a dog I didn’t want or ask for. So I shot it.” Um ok…. hey I gotta go now.

— lizkathleen1

43. “Are you wild? I bet you’re wild.”

— manic_unicorn

44. “Are you virgin?”

— tehserial

45. “I love you.”

— CleverHomosapien

Don’t say these things, and hopefully your dates will go great! TC mark

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