Thought Catalog
October 6, 2016

13 People Reveal The Most F*cked Up Thing They’ve Ever Seen During An Orgy

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Flickr / fnogues
Flickr / fnogues

1.

Saw a guy have a bad reaction to Viagra. At first we thought he was getting dizzy and about to pass out from nerves, and everyone thought that was funny. Once we realized he may need to go to the hospital it stopped being funny. And I’ll tell you, having to call 911 puts a pretty quick stop to an orgy.

— Link-to-the-Pastiche

2.

I was seeing this girl for a while the last part of college and met her parents a few times. They were cool but definitely did not stand out as adventurous at all.

Flash forward several years, I was seeing someone else and we were much more open than my ex and I. We were invited to one by her coworker. When I walked in I immediately saw that my exes parents were there. So surreal, and they did recognize me. We did not say a word to each other and let the festivities begin. The couples split up and after it was over, we left and I never saw them again. So fucking weird.

— thegrantster

3.

Ran into an old high school teacher. He didn’t recognize me luckily.

— heymeowmeow

4.

A friend’s wife shit on me when I pulled my dick out of her ass. It was mostly liquid, and she was mortified.

— Imayhavedonethat

5.

Not a typical orgy, but we organized a BDSM party with some 80 participants.

Now, some idiot slaps handcuffs on his girlfriend, then finds out that he didn’t bring the keys. The cuffs are tight, and she she don’t have sufficient circulation, causing her hands to go numb.

So, some tries to find some other keys, while I run for the bolt cutter (which we had for exactly that reason, along with some seatbelt cutters for rope incidents). Now, these were professional cuffs, not with chains between them, but some kind of hinge, so they would have been a bitch to cut, as I would have had to cut both cuffs.

When I get back, they are on their third or fourth set of keys, and none works. Her hands are startng to go purple, so I get ready to cut, when someone comes running with another set of keys, which actually worked.

I gave that guy a stern talk about safety.

Apart from that, the funniest thing I can remember is a girl who always started laughing uncontrollably when spanked/whipped. She was great fun to spank…

— ElMachoGrande

6.

I accidentally dropped my load on a male, which caused him to puke over a girl, which caused she to puke… a scene that caused another girl to puke. Suddenly we were all puking.

— JustMeBeingHonest

7.

Not me but an old co-worker’s story I’m gonna use here.

His name was Happy, he was invite to an orgy when he was younger and it was his first of what I’m assuming to be many at this point. He gets paired up with a woman who has a thing for anal beads. He was unfamiliar with them but she was sort of helpful with the lubing and insertion part of it. Once they were all in she told him to pull them out. Before she could finish and mention to do it slowly as she’s getting herself warmed up, he precedes to rip them out as if he was pull-starting a lawn mower. She then screams while running to the bathroom with a bleeding anus. He was asked to leave immediately.

— mulletranger

8.

While we were all hanging out naked between rounds, I went onto IRC while my girlfriend was chatting up her guy on the side. He came over and started cockslapping me across my back and shoulders.

I just narrated the whole thing in the IRC channel. My girl thought it was hilarious. “COCKSLAP PARTY!”

— InfintySquared

9.

I came so hard I lost control and my head fell onto a guys ass and quickly jumped out of that situation. Was funny to everyone

— unauthorizedErection

10.

We were going at it full bore, and this one guy has kept all of his clothes on so far. I’m talking $5,000 suit, complete with tie, cuff links, etc.

He’s taking this girl in the ass right in the middle, pulls out, shouts, then runs towards the bathroom.

The girl is confused, loosk back, and there is just a massive terd on the floor.

She starts freaking out, other people see it and start freaking out, the guy comes back out, picks it up, squeezes it … and it squeaks.

— ALWAYS_TELLING_LIES

11.

A few years ago, my then-girlfriend and I started discussing about having a threesome, but we could not really decide on who we wanted to join. We didn’t really want any of our close friends (at least she didn’t), and we also didn’t think going on craiglist was a good idea. I talked with a good friend of mine about this, turns out she is really into orgys and has attended several of them actually. Once I was over that fact (was a little mind blowing, I knew her for years and I could have sworn she’s not the type), I asked her if we could come along some time. She said yes, and I suggested it to my wife, who was a little reluctant at first but then agreed.

So when the date came, we meet up with my friend and I drove us there. Turns out the whole thing is going to go down in an office building of some sort, not what I expected but I honestly didn’t really know what I expected. We went in and there were like 25-30 people. There was champagne reception, and people were chatting to each other. A fair amount of them did drugs (weed, viagra, I swear that one guy took amphetamine), but I was warned about that and it was okay with me. When the orgy was about to get started and everyone was asked to change/undress, I started discussing with my wife what exactly our plan was now. We agreed that we’d just fool around with each other and see if anyone’d join, and then just go with the flow, kind of.

Fair enough, we undressed and started kissing and touching each other. It was weirder for me than I expected it to be, I never had other people around except for my partner when I had sex, but she seemed to be into it and was very demanding. So we head over to some sort of improvised giant bed made up of several mattresses covered by a giant sheet with lots of pillows, she laid down and I started eating her out. She got really loud, and I just plunged myself into it. I got so much into it that I almost forgot that other people where around, were it not for the noise. Suddenly my girl becomes quiet, and I look up to see if there is something wrong with her, and what the hell, I see this gorgeous blonde girl had taken a seat on the face of my girl, and she was eating away at her. I swear I have never been so hard in my entire life.

I watched that for a few minutes while fingering my wife before I built up the courage to start touching that stranger’s boobs from behind, and she turned around and her face was just as beautiful as the rest of her. Not as beautiful as my girl, of course, but definitely hot as fuck.

I didn’t have much time to look at her face though, because she instantly started giving me a deep kiss while riding the face of my wife. She had definitely smoked a joint or something, the kiss tasted like weed and I really hate that to be honest, so I gently pushed her away. I just whispered “sorry, no kissing”, and she whispered back “then give me something else, I need something to keep my mouth busy”. I was so baffled because I never did this dirty talk thing before, so I just asked “What do you need?” “I need about tree fiddy.” It was around this time I realized that this woman was eight stories tall and a crustacean from the paleolithic era. That damned loch ness monster had gotten me again! I said, “Damnit Monstah, I ain’t givin’ you no tree fiddy!”. Needless to say, the orgy was kind of ruined for me. My girl and I got dressed again and left, and we never attended any orgy again.

— XelNecra

12.

Had a party in a hotel suite, 6 guys and 2 girls. Two of the guys are gay and just hang out and watch. So 4 on 2, everyone is having fun, at one point i’m on the bed with a girl riding me, watching one of the guys in the bathroom giving the other girl a squirting orgasm, when the feeling of the girl riding me changes. I lift her up and discover one of the gay guys crawled on the bed and bent my cock out of the girl and into his mouth. So I object and push him of the bed and get back inside the girl. Weird, but funny.

— Animal_kbh

13.

Everyone is leaving the room to take a break, grab a drink, smoke, whatever.

Me and the mrs. took some extra time to finish up, so I took her out of her chains and handed her her drink and bong.

I’m sitting there, putting on my shoes, getting ready to leave while she watches a giant black guy penetrate this tiny white girl on TV.

She hits the bong hard and says “GAT DAMN, why couldn’t one of you guys have been black?” While blowing out smoke.

That was a weird one all around.

— dr_zevon TC mark

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